Page 128 of Tell Me What You Want

Again, I don’t respond. A fury has taken over my body, and I need to vent however I can. When he sees me so heated, Fernando quickly pulls his T-shirt over his head and kisses me again.

“Judith ...,” he whispers, and pulls away. “Is something wrong? I don’t want you to ...”

“Fernando ... shut up and fuck me.” My bluntness paralyzes him for an instant, but his desire for me sends him into action without a second thought. He silently takes off his pants, his underwear, and reveals his naked and erect penis. I’m breathing heavily, and the heat is rising all over my body. Then I remember something.

“Hand me my bag.”

He immediately gives it to me, and as I pull out the lipstick-shaped vibrator Eric gave me and told me to always carry with me, Fernando puts on a condom.

“Take my panties off me.”

His fingers pull on the elastic as he begins to carefully lower them. That’s when he sees my tattoo.

“‘Tell me what you want,’” he reads.

I’m nude from the waist down, and I open my legs for him.

“Look at me,” I whisper, “please.”

Still stunned by my tattoo, he nods. I turn on the vibrator and place it where I know it will give me pleasure. My body reacts instantly and I moan. I close my eyes and pretend it’s Eric, not Fernando, in front of me.

I rub the vibrator on my clit, whimper, and squeeze my legs tight when I feel my pleasure discharging. Suddenly, a pair of hands brings me out of my private dream, and I’m forced to open my eyes. Excited, Fernando makes his way between my legs and penetrates me. I cry out and he grunts. My vagina clenches, and I hear him moan.

My desire to forget everything makes me so alert that I turn the vibrator up, scream again, and put it all the way inside me. When he sees that, Fernando takes the vibrator from my hands, grabs my thighs, and plunders my body over and over again. He is tireless and continues to pillage me with welcome and forceful onslaughts. But I need more. I need Eric.

I think about him and how he makes me tremble with his demands. That’s when I feel Fernando surround my back with his hands. With one move, he lifts me off the bed and leans me against the wall. His mouth aims for mine, and he kisses me as he pushes me down on his sex again and again.

“Judith ...”

Crazed, I look at him with watery eyes. When he sees the state I’m in, his thrusting halts.

“Don’t stop, please ... not now.”

He takes up his hip movements anew. I stay crushed against the wall until I get what I want. I give myself to him in a fever. I don’t even realize when I scream Eric’s name, and then Fernando and I climax together.

I stay in his arms for a few minutes. I feel the worst ever. I don’t know what I’ve done or even why I’ve done it. When Fernando releases me, I go to the bathroom without looking at him. I wash and look at myself in the mirror. The smeared mascara gives me a really deplorable look. In fact, I couldn’t look worse.

Five minutes later, a bit more put together, I come out of the bathroom, and Fernando is waiting, dressed, on the bed. I see the vibrator and wordlessly pick it up and put it back in my bag. I’ll wash it at home. I get dressed and sit back on the bed, in front of him. I owe him an explanation.

“Fernando ... I don’t know how to explain this to you, but the first thing I want to do is apologize.”

He nods. “Apology accepted.”

“Thank you.”

We just look at each other for a few seconds.

“You know I love doing what we just did. I like you a lot, and if it were up to me, I’d spend all day kissing you and ...”

“Fernando, please don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“The tattoo is for him, isn’t it?” he asks rather abruptly.

“Yes.”

I can see he has a thousand things to say.

“You didn’t come over because you wanted to have sex with me. Or because you wanted to see me. You even said his name while I was making love to you. I mean, goddamn it.”

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