Page 168 of Tell Me What You Want

I watch him leave the archive room, and I smile. The way Eric makes me happy doesn’t compare to anything in the world. After I return to my desk, I see him on the phone. When he hangs up, he walks by me, and although he doesn’t look at me directly, I know he’s looked at me.

At one o’clock, I get a call from the lobby. There’s a delivery person with a bouquet of roses. When the young man comes up and announces that the beautiful long-stemmed red roses are for me, I’m speechless. I take out the card and read the note:As our song says, “I have you on my mind, desperately.”

I’m stunned by the card and the bouquet in my hands. Reading that message delights me. Eric is so romantic, and I would love for the whole world to know. At that moment, my supervisor comes by and notices the flowers.

“How wonderful. Who sent me those beautiful things?”

“These are for me.”

She flinches when she hears that, turns around, and walks away. I pull out one of the vases we keep for when we have flowers in the office, fill it with water, arrange the roses, and put them on my desk.

When Eric leaves his office, he’s wearing his usual serious expression, but he pauses to look at them.

“Pretty flowers.”

“Thank you, Mr.Zimmerman.”

“A secret admirer?”

I smile like a fool.

“My boyfriend, sir.”

This evening, when I get home, Eric arrives fifteen minutes later, and with joy and vigor, he makes love to me.

61

On Friday, Eric invites me to dinner at a fantastic restaurant. We agree on a mid-January date for my move. My apartment is mine. When I moved to Madrid, my father helped me buy it. After my conversation with Eric, I decide not to sell or rent it. It will be a place I always have whenever I want to visit Madrid.

That night, in spite of the happiness I see on Eric’s face, I can tell he has a headache. I’ve already seen him take two pills. But he doesn’t want to talk about it. After dinner, as we’re leaving the restaurant, we run into some friends of his on the street.

Eric turns to me. “Would you like it if I invite Victor to come back to the hotel to play, the three of us?”

My heart pounds. I give my consent, and Eric grins.

“Let me talk to him. I’m sure he won’t say no.”

Eric and Victor step away from me and the girl Victor is with. Her name is Loli, and she’s quite charming. We talk while I watch the two men. Suddenly, I see Eric take a call, and his smile disappears.

“We have to go,” he says when he comes back.

Victor and Loli just stand there, but then they go into the restaurant. What happened?

On our way home, Eric is quieter than usual. I try to talk to him, to joke around, but he won’t play along. I finally just shut up. When Eric gets like this, it’s best to leave him alone.

When we reach the hotel, Eric orders a bottle of champagne. I take off my shoes and sit on the edge of the bed. I want to play. Eric’s proposal got me going. Eric takes off his jacket and leaves it perfectly hung on the back of a chair. There’s a knock on the door, and my heart flutters. The fluttering stops when I realize it’s just the valet with the champagne and a pair of glasses.

As soon as we’re alone, Eric uncorks the bottle and pours for both of us.

“I sense my proposal turned you on. Am I right?” he asks in a cool and distant tone.

I consider my response. I could lie, but I don’t want to.

“Yes ...”

Eric nods and takes a drink from his glass.

“You really like it when I offer you to other men, don’t you?”

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