Page 119 of Tell Me What You Want

“No, I’ll go with you,” I insist.

“I said to stay, Jude ... I don’t want company. My head hurts, and I want to be alone.”

His moods exasperate me.

“Listen, mister, I don’t give a hoot that you don’t want company. I said I’m going back with you.”

“Goddamn it!” he says with a groan. “I told you to stay.”

His grumbles and grunts don’t frighten me.

“I don’t like it when you do this, and even less when I don’t even know what’s going on. So you can explain it to me, and yes, I’m still going with you.”

But Eric refuses. He’s irritable, and all I accomplish is getting him angrier with me. In the end, Frida comes between us and negotiates a truce. Andrés says something to Eric and calms him down. I don’t understand why he’s gotten like this, and I refuse to kiss him before he marches off with Andrés.

For a while, Frida and I stay quiet as we lie in the sun.

“Judith, don’t worry,” she says. “It’s nothing.”

I’m furious. I sit up on the beach towel.

“No, something’s going on, Frida. His mood swings really irritate me. One minute, he’s fine, the next ...”

“You just met him recently, right?”

“Yes, two months ago, more or less.”

“Well, my friend ... I can assure you I’ve known Eric for many years, and I have never seen him so mesmerized by a woman.”

“Sure ...”

“I swear it, Judith. I have no reason to lie to you.”

I want to believe what she says. I need to believe what she says. But then I remember how angry he got.

“I barely know him, Frida. He won’t let me get to know him except sexually, and although I’m discovering things I like, things I never would have experienced if not for him, I want and need to know about him. About Eric, as a person.”

Frida purses her lips. I want to ask her a thousand things.

“Who are Betta and Marta? He gets several messages from each of them every day.”

My question clearly makes Frida uncomfortable.

“I know you know what I’m talking about. Please, tell me what’s going on.”

Frida lifts her sunglasses off her face and looks me straight in the eye.

“Judith ...”

For an instant, I look right back at her, but finally, I surrender. Everything is off limits when it comes to him.

“Fine, Frida, let’s just get some sun,” I say, throwing myself back down on the towel.

45

Two hours later, Andrés comes down to the beach to get us. He’s in a good mood, and as we walk to the car, he tells us Eric is resting. I refuse to ask about anything. I’m pissed enough about the calls from those other women without asking about anything else. When we get to the chalet, I go directly to the pool.

Frida and Andrés disappear, and I’m alone. I pick up my iPod and put in my earbuds. I listen and sing along to Jessie James while lying on one of the hammocks. About a half hour later, Eric comes through the door, wearing very dark sunglasses. He stands by my side. I don’t look at him. I’m still mad. We stay like that for more than ten minutes until he pulls out one of my earbuds.

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