Page 112 of Tell Me What You Want

“Dickhead! That’s what you are, a real fucking dickhead.”

“Among many other things. I’m sorry.”

His eyes ... his voice ... the smell of his sex and everything about him manages, as always, to make my anger disappear.

“I’m sorry, love. I’ve let myself be carried away by my possessiveness and ...”

“Look here, Eric, I’m yours! You’re going to tell me you don’t know that, while I like all this exploration and experimentation, I only want to do it with you? You said my pleasure was your pleasure. Well then, apply it to your own damned self, because it works the same way with me. What just happened here has been incredible! Marvelous! Exhilarating! I loved seeing your eyes sparkle when I told you what I wanted. You enjoyed the moment, and so did I. So what is so wrong? I simply surrendered myself to explore, to give in to my curiosity. But if—”

Eric kisses me. He doesn’t let me finish.

He devours my mouth and plays with my tongue, and I adore it all. For a long time, we remain like that, embracing and alone in the room. We just hug each other. We’re dead tired. And when we finally leave the private room and return to the larger, public room, Björn offers us very cold champagne. He takes my hand and kisses it.

“It’s been my pleasure, Jude.”

I nod. Björn looks over at Eric.

“Thank you, my friend, for offering me your woman. It’s been a delight.”

Eric smiles.

“I’m glad to know that.”

“Also,” adds Björn, “tomorrow night, we’re going to play the Wheel at the villa I’ve rented. Marisa and Frida will be there. Perhaps you’ll come as well?”

The Wheel? What is “the Wheel”?

“Thanks for the invitation, but no,” says Eric as we start to step away. “Maybe another time.”

When we get to the dance floor and start to move to the beat of the music, my curiosity gets the better of me.

“What is ‘the Wheel’?”

“A game you’re not ready for.”

“Fine ... but what is it?”

Eric smiles and presses me to him. “To start, you’d be nude, along with two or three other women. The men play cards while you serve us drinks and satisfy our whims. Once the card game is over, the men make a circle around the women who’ve volunteered, and the entire wheel gets fucked. Of course, this always requires consent.”

I nod and swallow. No, I’m definitely not ready for that.

At about four in the morning, without having shared more than words with anyone else, Eric and I decide to go home. Frida and Andrés will go back later. When we climb into the limousine they’ve left at our disposal, Eric hugs me, and I give him a sly look.

“I’m beyond tired. Why do you think that is?”

We both laugh, and Eric kisses me on the neck.

“Did you have a good time?’”

“Yes, a very good time.”

“Enough of a good time to do it again someday?”

I search his face before responding.

“Oh yes ... of course. In fact, I saw some things I’d like to try and ...”

Eric smiles and brings his mouth near mine.

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