Page 33 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

Tomorrow is our one-month wedding anniversary, and I want to surprise my husband.

“Cuchufleta, go on with your guests, Lucía and I will join you soon.”

I kiss her and run out to the garden where everyone has settled around the table to drink beer. Dexter and my father are talking about planting roses. They’re beautiful. They’re the most beautiful roses I’ve ever seen in my whole life. Eric and Flyn are trading stories, and Graciela and Juan Alberto listen in.

“Auntie, Uncle Eric says you should give us our gifts,” Luz says as soon as she sees me.

“What I said was that you bought them, and you—”

“No way, my love,” I say. “We bought these gifts together, and we will give them out together.”

The kids can’t stop staring at the suitcase full of gifts. Eric finally lifts it up on the table and opens it, and we pass the gifts out for the kids and for my father.

The kids are tearing into their packages when, all of a sudden, as if there was an earthquake, my sister comes down, her hair gathered on her head, the baby in one arm, and her cell in the other hand. Without so much as blinking, she drops Lucía in the arms of a very disconcerted Juan Alberto, who has no idea what to do with an infant.

“Look, that’s a no,” she says into the phone. “It doesn’t work for me this weekend. I have other plans.”

Everyone’s staring at her. There’s no point in saying anything to her when she’s like that. I look over at my father, who shakes his head as a salty Raquel walks over to the pool and then comes to a dead stop. “I said no. I don’t want to see you, Jesús. Forget about me. Go ahead and talk to your lawyer, but do me a favor and pay the monthly child support for the girls because I need it. Did you hear me? I need it!”

But my ex-brother-in-law, that idiot, must’ve said something because she takes it up a serious notch.

“Fuck you and your father and your mother and every living creature in your family! I could give three shits about your situation! And do you know why?” Everyone is staring, and you could hear a pin drop. “Because I’ve got two girls I’ve got to support, and I need the money. So, just save the money you would have used on the trip because I don’t want to see you. And whatever you save, you can deposit in the bank, because the girls need to eat and a thousand other things. What? You’re a shameless asshole with a Peter Pan complex. Grow up...you idiot, grow up! And don’t ask me again if we can see each other tomorrow because, I swear, if I say yes, it’ll be only so I can slap you hard across the face.”

Amazed by what I’m hearing, I don’t know what to do. My God, my sister can really give it back. Suddenly, I realize Luz is hearing the same thing I am, and my blood starts to boil. Eric and I exchange looks.

“Look, Luz, did you see the SpongeBob SquarePants camera I got you?” Eric asks her.

Just hearing the name SpongeBob SquarePants makes my niece turn around and forget all about her mom’s conversation.

“Wow, Uncle Eric!”

Mercifully, the yellow digital camera with SpongeBob is the only thing that matters in that moment. I’m so glad Eric responded so quickly.

Eric gives Flyn another camera, but this one hasMortal Kombatcharacters; the two of them go nuts. Graciela springs into action and distracts them by pulling them away from the phone conversation. My sister is really giving it to her ex!

Anguished, my father goes to her to try to calm her down. Poor man, he really has his hands full with Raquel and me. And seeing Juan Alberto disconcerted with the baby in his arms, I rush over to take her from him.

I think if he’d had the baby one more second, he wouldn’t have been able to breathe. He literally sighs when he hands her to me. He is so relieved!

“Hi, Cucurucucu...I’m gonna eat your cheeks. Yes, I am!” I say, holding her close to my face.

The baby stares at me. She surely thinks I’m some kind of fool.

“You look good with a baby in your arms, Judith,” says Dexter.

I turn to him and see all three men have their eyes on me. But my husband’s face gets a special mention. His expression is beatific and soft, and he’s wearing a radiant smile.

“You look beautiful with a baby,” he says.

Uff...my neck is starting to itch!

No, I don’t want to talk about babies or any other such nonsense.

I start to look for someone to hand the baby to, and Eric comes over with open arms. I deliver her to him as if she were a delicate package.

“Hello...Hello, beautiful...I’m your uncle Eric. How’s my gorgeous girl?”

Eric sits next to Dexter, and the two of them babble at her. I glance over at my father. I can read his lips as he is asking Raquel to take it easy. Suddenly, she slams her cell phone down on a table. She’s furious, and when my sister is furious there’s no stopping her.

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