Page 170 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

“Have you thought about what I want?”

The Iceman looks at me and cuts me with his eyes, and, understanding his frustration, I try to clarify.

“I don’t need you to share me with anyone,” I say. “I don’t want to be with others. I just want you to make love to me like we like. Our way. I need you. I’ve been telling you for months and months, and you don’t want to listen to me.”

Eric curses and slams the steering wheel again.

“I’ve told you a thousand times I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t you hear me? Do you think I don’t want to fuck you the way you want? That I don’t want to have you in my arms and make love, balls to the wall like we like? Goddamn it, Jude! I want it with all my might, and I can’t wait until we do it like that again.”

“But—”

“I love you; you love me. Your pregnancy and our baby are what’s important right now. That’s all.”

I love Medusa more every day, but I need him too.

Eric starts the car and drives silently to our house, while I feel that I need, as Alejandro Sanz says, “support for my heart.”

The days pass, and our evening out did nothing but worsen our communications. The situation is so bad that, when Eric comes home, even Susto and Calamar get out of the way.

And sex between us is weird. I compare it to eating salt-free chips. You enjoy them because you like them, but you know they could be better with a little more spice.

Like every night, I wake up with an immediate urge to pee. I’m constantly peeing! I look at the clock: 2:12 a.m., and I’m surprised to see Eric’s not in bed.

I go to the bathroom and then stealthily go looking for him and find him in his office. He’s jerking off to the video he recorded with Frida that day at the hotel. I crawl back to bed and cry when I realize I’m not included in his game. Damned hormones!

I love my Medusa, but I don’t want to get pregnant ever again!

When he comes back to our room, I pretend I’m asleep. Eric gets into bed, and, when he hugs me from behind and I feel his huge erection, I relax. Hmm, how delicious! But I contain myself. I’m not going to ask for anything. I’m tired of this.

Surprised, I notice he’s kissing me on the shoulder, the neck, and around my head.

“I know you’re not asleep, you cheater. I heard you going up the stairs.”

My answer is to say nothing. But when I feel him taking off my panties, I let go. Hardly moving, I notice his hands on my sex. Oh yes...play with me. When he gets me all wet, he brings his cock close and slides it inside.

I moan.

“After you have the baby, I’m going to lock you up for a month, and I’m not going to stop fucking you against the wall, on the floor, on the table, everywhere.”

His words excite me, my spine arches, and I feel his penis go deeper.

“I’ll undress you; I’ll fuck you; I’ll offer you; I’ll look at you, and you’ll accept, right?”

“Yes,” I gasp.

Carefully, Eric penetrates me again and again. His attacks increase in rhythm, and I join him in search of more. The sound of our bodies coming together is electrifying. Again and again, he pierces me with care until he can’t take it anymore and lets himself go.

When it’s over, he kisses my neck.

“I miss you, sweetheart.”

“And I miss you,” I reply.

For a few minutes, we don’t move, until Eric pulls himself from inside me, and I turn toward him.

“I’m sorry, my love.”

“For what?”

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