Page 128 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

My father laughs.

“I know, but until she does, I’m trapped in crazy town. Although, to be honest, she’s been so happy since that man showed up, I think she’s already made up her mind.”

“And you like her decision?”

“More than eating with my hands, girl,” he says with a laugh. “But I’m not going to say squat so she can make up her own mind.”

“Yes, Papá, that’s best. That way, whether it’s good or bad, it’s just her decision, hers and hers alone.”

We talk for a while longer.

“And Eric?” he asks.

“In London. He’ll be back in a few days.”

“Sweetheart, your voice is kind of sad. Are you all right?”

How smart is my father?

He could have been a fortune-teller but chose to be a mechanic.

Determined not to alarm him, I answer as calmly as possible.

“All right, Papá. I’m just here waiting for my favorite German’s return.”

“That’s what I want to hear. I love it when my girls are happy.” He laughs delightedly.

I laugh too, although my eyes are filled with tears.

“Tell Eric to call me so we can decide when he’s going to send the plane to come get us. He told me not to buy tickets, that he’ll send his jet so we can spend Christmas together.”

“It’ll be the first thing I do when I see him, Papá.”

Suddenly, I hear a baby cry. It’s my niece, Lucía, and my hair stands on end.

Good God, I’m pregnant, and soon I’ll have a baby who cries like that too!

I know something nobody knows. For the first time in my life, I’m keeping a secret I only want to tell to the person I love with all my soul.

Once I say goodbye to my father and hang up the phone, I lie down on the bed again.

Suddenly, the bedroom door opens and Simona blurts out, “Emerald Madnessis starting.”

On the screen we see how Luis Alfredo Quiñones, Esmeralda’s great love, kisses Lupita Santúñez, the hospital nurse, and Esmeralda watches, desperate, behind a column. Unable to avoid it, I cry. Poor little Esmeralda. So in love and always so many problems. Just like me! Simona gives me a Kleenex. I soak it within seconds, when Esmeralda Mendoza, devastated by the loss of her love, tells her little son, “Papá loves you!” I cry and cry and can’t stop.

WhenEmerald Madnessends and I’m alone in the room again, my cell phone rings. I don’t recognize the number.

“Yes?”

“Hello, Judith. This is Amanda.”

My jaw drops. Her!

Why is this woman calling me?

“Don’t hang up, please. I have something to tell you.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you.”

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