Page 125 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

With a knot in the pit of my stomach that I’m sure, if undone, would loosen a Niagara Falls of tears, I greet him as cheerfully as I can. “Hello, Björn.”

“Hello, beautiful, is the boss back yet?”

His tone of voice and the question tell me he doesn’t know anything.

“Well, no, handsome,” I say. “He called a few days ago and told me the trip is going to be a little longer. Why? Did you want something?”

“There’s a private party this weekend at Nacht, and I wanted to know if you’re going to go,” Björn says with a charming laugh.

“Well, no, he won’t be back by then. And you know I won’t go alone.”

“You’d better not go without your husband!”

Now the one who laughs bitterly is me. If he only knew what Eric’s thinking!

We talk for a few more minutes, and, after saying goodbye, I hang up anguished because I’m hiding something from Björn, but I can’t tell him. This is a bomb, and when it explodes, I want to be present. I don’t want him and Eric to quarrel without me there to mediate. I’m afraid they’ll break off their beautiful friendship because of Laila, that slut.

I think about what Björn told me about her and Leonard and how in all that time he kept the secret to not hurt Eric. Now I think it would’ve been better to hurt him at the time so Laila would’ve disappeared from our lives and not have caused all this.

What the girl wants is clear: to antagonize Björn and Eric and, in the process, take me down. I can’t let her get away with that. But without seeing the evidence Eric says he has, I can’t do anything but call her out.

Convinced I want to do that, I ask Simona for Laila’s phone number in London. She gives it to me reluctantly, and, after two rings, I hear her voice.

“You’re a bad person,” I say. “How could you do what you’ve done?”

Laila lets out a laugh.

“Fuck you, dear Judith. Your perfect world is cracking.”

If she were in front of me, I’d rip her head off!

“I hope you know there’ll be consequences,” I say.

I don’t say anything more and hang up before my voice betrays me. And then I cry again. It’s what I do best lately.

I haven’t seen Eric in ten days, and I need him.

I long for his hugs, his kisses, his glances, and even his grunts. Above all, I need to tell him one of his dreams is going to come true.

He’s going to be a dad!

I’m lying in my bed when the phone rings. I quickly answer.

“Hello, Cuchufleta!”

My sister.

I feel a crazy desire to cry, to tell her my secret, but no. I shut up and swallow my tears. I don’t want anyone to know about the baby before Eric.

I quickly sit up. Talking to her is sure to make me happy.

“Hi, crazy girl. How are you?”

“Good, Cuchu.”

“And the girls?”

“My great girls. Luz is more rebellious every day. Who’s she taking after, huh? And Lucía is more clever every day. By the way, Papá says she seems more your daughter than mine. She looks a lot like you. And how are you?”

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