Page 120 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

At six thirty, after a horrible night unable to get through to Eric, I’m in the kitchen. Simona comes in and is surprised to see me.

“What are you doing up so early?”

My face falls, and I begin to cry. She’s completely thrown off. She sits next to me, and, like a mother, wipes my tears with a napkin while I talk and talk, but Simona doesn’t understand any of it.

I keep the pregnancy to myself but explain clearly what happened with Eric. She’s puzzled. She knows I love and adore my German like few people in the world, and that Björn is just a great friend to the two of us.

At eight o’clock, she goes to wake Flyn, and at half past eight, when the kid comes down and sees my deplorable state, he sits next to me.

“You argued with my uncle, right?”

This time I nod. I can’t deny it.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure my uncle is in the wrong,” he says, surprising both Simona and me.

“Flyn...”

“You are a very good mom,” he insists.

I burst into tears again. He called me Mom. There is no stopping me anymore.

After Simona serves Flyn breakfast, and Norbert comes to take him to school, I decide to go with them. The air will be good for me. On the way, my little man grabs my hand and doesn’t let go. As always, that gives me strength. It amuses me when he kisses me before getting out of the car so no one can see him. When he finally goes on his way, I ask Norbert to wait a second so I can get out of the vehicle.

I need air.

I take a small card from my pocket, and, after staring at it, make the decision to call. The doctor gives me the number for a private gynecologist. I immediately get an appointment for the next day. The good thing about having money is that everything is at your disposal. It’s the same as Social Security in Spain. When María, my new Spanish friend, sees me, she notices the dark circles under my eyes.

“Are you OK, Judith?”

I nod and smile.

I’m not the kind of person to go telling my sorrows to everyone. But then I notice something strange in her eyes.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

She sighs. She hesitates, but finally confesses.

“I’m not comfortable telling you what I’m going to tell you, but if I don’t, I won’t be able to sleep.” She points at the cockatoos a few yards from us. “Your friends, those who claim to appreciate you so much, are doing a number on you. They’re saying terrible things about you.”

“About me? But they don’t know me!”

María nods.

“What happened? Tell me.”

“They say you’re involved with your husband’s friend, a guy named Björn.”

The earth trembles under my feet, and a phrase suddenly comes to mind from a song by Alejandro Sanz that I like so much: “You see, there are no two without three.”

What the hell is going on?

I’m pregnant, Eric thinks I’m involved with Björn, and now they’re talking about it at Flyn’s school.

I’m shaking...

“Besides that,” María continues, “they’re making fun of you because you were Eric’s secretary, and, well, you can imagine.”

I’m utterly aghast.

---