Page 183 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

“The time is 4:27. I promised you I’d bring you in twelve minutes, and I’ve fulfilled my promise,” Mel says to me. “Nice to meet you, Judith. I hope everything goes well.”

I grab her hand.

“Thank you for everything, Mel.”

“If I have time tomorrow, I’ll come by to meet Medusa, OK?”

“That’d be great,” Eric replies, very grateful.

“Will you bring Samantha?” I ask.

Mel smiles and nods. Moments later, the young woman climbs into the Hummer and disappears. We go in the hospital, and they take me directly to a nice room in the maternity wing.

My gynecologist tells me not to worry. Everything’s going well. Then she puts her hand inside me, and I see stars. I curse her entire family. Eric holds me, but all this makes him suffer. When the doctor takes her hand from between my legs, she snaps off the latex glove.

“You’re four centimeters.”

Everything hurts.

“Everything’s all right, doctor?” Eric asks.

She says yes. “It’s going like it’s supposed to go.” Then she gives me a reassuring pat on the leg. “Now relax and try to rest. I’ll see you in a little while.”

When she leaves, I look at Eric, and my chin trembles.

“No, no, no, don’t cry, champ,” he says.

He hugs me and, feeling the pain return, I protest.

“This hurts a lot.”

I take Eric’s hand and twist it with the same intensity with which I feel my gut, and, even though I know I’m hurting him, he doesn’t say a word. He holds me tighter.

“I can’t, Eric...I can’t stand the pain,” I murmur.

“You have to, sweetheart.”

“Tell them to give me the epidural now. Get Medusa out of me; do something!”

“Take it easy, Jude.”

“I don’t want to!” I shout. “If you were in such pain, I would move heaven and earth to help you.”

As I say that, I realize I’m being cruel. Eric doesn’t deserve this. I pull him by the hand and make him come closer.

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry, honey. There’s nobody in this world better than you to take care of me.”

He doesn’t need any of what I’m saying.

“Quiet, sweet—”

But my angelic and quiet moment doesn’t last long. The pain attacks, and I twist his arm.

“God...God...This is really hurting again!”

Eric calls the nurse and asks for the epidural. She sees I’m hysterical, but says she can’t give it to me until the doctor approves it. I curse everything. Absolutely everything. Yes, in Spanish so they don’t understand me. The pain is getting more intense, and I can’t stand it.

I’m a bad patient...

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