Page 162 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

In February I enter my fifth month, and my body has undergone many changes. The first is that now I notice how Medusa moves. The second is that my little belly is becoming a balloon. If it goes on like this, I’m not going to be able to walk. I’m going to roll!

Everything that thinned out the first months has fattened up in the blink of an eye.

“Judith,” my gynecologist says when she weighs me, “you must begin to control your diet. In this last month you’ve gained almost eight pounds.”

“OK,” I say.

Eric intuits that I’m lying, and I make sure I speak before he does.

“Give me a diet, and I’ll follow it,” I tell the doctor.

She opens a folder, and, after looking at several sheets, she hands me one.

“This will be best for you.”

Diets and I have never been friends.

We talk to the doctor about what my body needs, and she tells me this next month, the sixth, I should start prenatal classes. I listen to everything she has to say.

“And can I have sex?”

Eric looks at me. He knows why I’m asking.

“Of course, yes. Your sex life should be normal,” the gynecologist says.

“Normal?” I insist.

“Totally normal,” she says.

I’m about to ask if it can be more intense than normal, but Eric’s eyes tell me to cool it. I back off. I don’t want to irritate him with my direct questions.

When it’s time to do the ultrasound, I can hardly look at the screen. Eric’s face is so expressive that I feel like covering him with kisses right then and there.

“Look at your baby!” says the gynecologist.

I say “ohh!” in this cottony way that’s reminiscent of my sister. I’m turning into a gushball.

“Incredible,” Eric murmurs.

Eric and I stare at the 3-D ultrasound like two fools and grin.

“Can you see if it’s a boy or a girl?” I ask.

The doctor moves the device, but we can’t see anything. The baby’s not cooperating.

“Sorry. Your baby’s legs are crossed in a way that I can’t tell.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Eric says. “The important thing is the baby’s well.”

The doctor nods.

“It’s going to be a pretty big baby.”

Stop!

Did she say big?

How big?

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