Page 159 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

“Is it true you want a snack?”

I nod and put the chocolate and vanilla plum cake she made on the table.

“I’m dying to eat this.”

Simona and Flyn smile, and I stuff myself with the plum cake.

Days go by, and my nausea disappears. I’m so happy!

I’ve suddenly started to recover my strength, and everything that made me sick months ago now seems rich and wonderful. I listen to music and dance again.

Eric is thrilled on seeing this turn of events, and I can’t even describe how I feel. I’m finally able to eat breakfast, and it feels so good. Day by day, I dare to eat more things, and suddenly I’m gobbling everything up. I’m a bottomless pit!

I get addicted to Simona’s plum cake and ice cream. I want to eat them all the time, and Eric, to please me, fills the freezer with all kinds of flavors while Simona spends the whole day making plum cake after plum cake. They spoil me plenty.

In time, Eric and Flyn go back to their old ways too. If I’m careless, they’ll throw themselves on the couch and play Wii for hours. That drives me crazy, even though I’ve convinced them to not have the game music on all the time.

While they play, I read the books I bought about babies and births. Sometimes I read things that give me goose bumps, but I have to be strong and continue. I must be informed. I’m going to be a mom!

One Saturday afternoon, after I convince them to take a walk in the countryside with the dogs, we’re all frozen when we get back.

As usual, uncle and nephew take up the Wii and play. Of the two, I don’t know who’s the bigger kid. For more than an hour, I play with them, but when my fingers hurt from so much playing, I decide to give myself a bath in our beautiful Jacuzzi.

I go up to our room, drink a little juice, and prep the Jacuzzi. I light candles that smell like peach and put on music to relax. Perfect! When the Jacuzzi’s full, I carefully step into it.

“Oh yes...,” I say. “This is the life.”

I close my eyes and relax.

The music plays, and I notice how my body releases tensions second by second. I love these moments of peace. I deserve them. But then the bathroom door opens, and there’s Flyn.

So much for peace!

He puts a hand over his eyes so he can’t see my breasts.

“I’m going with Aunt Marta to her house.”

“Oh, is Marta here?”

“Yes, here I am!” she says with Eric in tow.

My relaxing bath has gone to hell.

“What’s going on? Did something happen?” I ask.

My sister-in-law smiles and winks at me.

“I was hanging out with my friend Tatiana, and, when we went by her house, she gave me that little dress you asked about a long time ago. You know, the blue one. So, I left it in your closet.” I laugh when I think about the blue dress. “And since tomorrow I’m going riding in a hot-air balloon with Arthur, I thought maybe Flyn would like to join us.”

“Yes, yes, yes, I want to go!” the boy exclaims.

I look at Eric. He’s serious. Like always, he considers the pros and cons of balloon riding and when I see him hesitate, I know I have to say something.

“It seems perfect, Flyn. Have a good time, honey.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Every time he calls me that, my heart leaps with joy.

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