Page 153 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

Maybe what’s happening with Eric isn’t so strange.

“And when you had sex while pregnant, it was all right?”

“Hallucinatory. The desire is devastating, because your hormones are at peak levels, and that can be scary. Of course, when I got pregnant with Lucía, we separated, so I had a great time with Superman instead.”

“Wait, who’s Superman?”

“The dildo my foolish ex gave me. Thanks to him, I managed to get some relief.”

I am increasingly shocked by the things my sister says.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not like I told you I participated in an orgy. How old are you?”

Her comment makes me laugh aloud. If she only knew.

Two days later, it’s time for my visit with the gynecologist. Everyone wants to go with me, but I insist on just Eric. My father and sister understand and stay with the children at home.

I take all the test results my doctor requested on my first visit, along with the records from my visit to the emergency room. I’m nervous, expectant. The doctor looks over everything. When she does the ultrasound, she keeps an eye on Eric.

“The fetus is fine. The heartbeat is perfect and measures correctly. Just continue your normal life and take your vitamins, and I’ll see you in two months,” she says.

Eric and I look at each other and smile. Medusa is perfect!

When I clean the gel from my belly and return to the office, the doctor’s typing on the computer.

“I’d like to ask you one thing,” I say.

She stops typing.

“Yes?”

“The vomiting will eventually stop?”

“Usually, yes. At the end of the first trimester, the nausea typically disappears.”

I’m about to clap. Eric smiles.

“And I can have sex? Sex with penetration?”

My husband’s face is something now. He loves that I asked.

The doctor smiles knowingly.

“Of course. Just be careful, understood?”

When we leave the doctor’s office, Eric is serious. Once in the car, I can’t stand the tension anymore.

“You need to understand, darling, that I’m not made of stone, and you’re a perpetual temptation. Your hands make me want you to touch me, your mouth makes me want your kiss, and your penis, oh God!” I say, touching it over his pants. “It makes me want you to play with me.”

“Jude...stop.”

I laugh. He smiles and gives me a kiss.

“I assure you that if I provoke you like that, I can’t begin to tell you what you do to me.”

“Hmm, this could get interesting.”

“But—”

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