Page 134 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

Eric is floored.

“When he caught them, he had strong words with her and told her she either disappeared from your life or he told you about it. Laila decided to disappear, but trying to get ahead of him, she told Simona and Norbert that Björn had tried to make a forceful pass at her and ripped her dress. Simona went to Björn to ask for an explanation, and, luckily for him, there are cameras in his garage. The whole scene was on tape so he could show Simona who was really with Laila and who’d ripped her dress.”

“I...I didn’t know that...”

“You didn’t know because Norbert, Simona, and Björn decided to keep the secret. They didn’t want you to suffer more than you were already suffering from Hannah’s death. But now Laila wants to take revenge on Björn by recording him with me. He took her away from you, and so she tries to take us away from you.”

He’s speechless. At that moment, the door opens, and Björn, Norbert, and Laila come in.

When I see her, I walk right up to her and smack her across the face. She tries to smack me back, but Björn restrains her.

“Let’s see whose beautiful life is falling apart now,” I hiss.

Eric watches us from the bed. His expression is indecipherable. When Björn tries to put his good lawyerly skills to work to make her talk, she attempts to slip away, but, pressed and cornered, in the end she confesses to everything. Amazed, Eric listens, and, when Laila finally leaves with Björn and Norbert, he curses. He’s bewildered, furious, and hurt.

Eager to hug him, I take a step forward, but he slows me down with a gesture. That baffles me. He doesn’t want me near him. For a few minutes, I look at him in silence, waiting for a sign, a signal, anything! But he doesn’t look at me.

Damned dickhead!

I wait and despair. Finally, I can’t take it anymore.

“A few weeks ago, when I found out you were coming to London and I got jealous about Amanda, you made me see I shouldn’t worry, because you loved and wanted only me. I believed you and trusted you. Now we just need you to believe us and, above all, trust me.”

Silence...

Nothing...

He doesn’t look at me. I’m nervous and sad, and I decide to risk everything.

“I have a tattoo that says ‘Tell me what you want.’ I did it for you. I have a ring on my finger that you gave me that says ‘Tell me what you want, now and forever.’” But he still avoids my gaze. “I love you; I adore you. You know I’d turn the world upside down for you, but now I’m confused. You don’t want to be hugged, and I feel terrible because you won’t even look at me. I’m going to put everything on the line and say this just once: tell me what you want or leave me.” My voice breaks when he says nothing. “I’m leaving. I’ll let you think. If you want me back because you love and need me, you know my number.”

I grab my bag, turn, and leave the room, not looking back.

Björn is outside, sitting in one of the chairs. Seeing the state I’m in, he gets up and hugs me.

I need air...

Tears flow again.

“Easy, Judith,” Björn whispers.

“I can’t. I can’t...”

He nods. He tries to comfort me.

“And his eyes? Have you seen his eyes?”

“Yes,” he responds, and I know he’s worried too. He tries to distract me. “The leg, that’s just a simple fracture. One of the nurses just explained it to me.”

I cry and hiccup.

“No...no...He didn’t let me hold him. He won’t look at me. He hasn’t said a word.”

Björn curses.

“Eric isn’t stupid, and he loves you.”

I shake my head. What if he really doesn’t love me?

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