Page 2 of Perfectly Grumpy

Sheriff

To:Tate Foster

From:Lauren Williamson

Subject:Re: Re: Re: Re: Missing: One Grumpy Defenseman

Dear Uncooperative Gorilla,

Your costume arrives tomorrow. I’ve also queued up “Welcome to the Jungle” and picked out a TikTok dance for us. You’ll be going viral by Friday.

Cheers!

Lauren

Your Favorite PR Person | Carolina Crushers

To:Lauren Williamson

From:Tate Foster

Subject:TikTok Trauma Is Real

My (Least) Favorite PR Problem,

Just so we’re clear:

If I end up on TikTok in a gorilla suit, I’m holding you personally responsible.

Also, I expect hazard pay. And a banana.

Grumpily yours,

Sheriff

TWO

lauren

PR rule number one:expect disaster.Just when everything seems under control, the universe will blindside you like a defenseman you never saw coming. That’s especially true in my line of work.

As the public relations manager for the Carolina Crushers, an AHL hockey team with a roster full of hot tempers and hockey flow, I’ve learned to anticipate catastrophe before my morning coffee. It’s the job I’ve dreamed about since high school, ever since I accidentally discovered I have a talent for spinning the truth.

Not for myself, mind you. Forotherpeople.

In high school, I ran the student newspaper—writing glowing features on star athletes and the occasional hard-hitting exposé when someone got caught partying before a big game. Now, I extinguish sparks before they ever hit the news. My daily routine includes monitoring fan forums, tracking player socials, and wading through the cesspool that is hockey Reddit—home of sports conspiracy theories and drama-stirrers with usernames like “PuckDaddy97.”

Because my biggest dread is missing something small, something that seems harmless at first until it spreads. And suddenly, it’s not just a tiny spark—it’s a five-alarm, career-ending inferno. And I’ll be the one holding the matches if I don’t see it coming.

For the last few weeks, things have been quiet as we prepare for the end-of-season playoffs and summer break.Tooquiet. And the silence is making me twitchy.

I take a sip of my iced brown sugar oat milk shaken espresso—a drink my sister lovingly refers to as “complicated like me”—and settle into my usual table at Magnolia Brew. From here, I begin my daily scroll through theCrushers Fan Forum,where I mentally check off potential PR fires.

End of Season Thread:

Who’s your favorite player this season?

stephloveshockey

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