Page 52 of More Than a Spark

As if the bartender heard us, he strode to us and took our order, with each of us getting a roll and sharing a salmon sashimi. The bartender placed our napkins and chopsticks on the bar top along with soy sauce and wasabi bowls. It was a welcome distraction, and I cleared my head.

“Anyways, I’m not here to talk about Mom.” I breathed in deeply.Fuck, here goes. I unwrapped my chopsticks and set them across a small square plate.

“Does that mean you had something you wanted to talk about? You didn’t want to just catch up?” She placed her napkin in her lap.

“Yeah, I sort of do.” As my heart thumped, my gut clenched. Why was this so hard? It was Hazel, she wasn’t going to care. “You know my friend Milo?”

A wide smile swept over her lips, and she touched them with the end of her wooden chopsticks. “Of course. He was always such a little cutey and such a good guy. Why are all the good men gay?” She raised the corner of her mouth.

I stared at her for a beat. She thought he was cute? He was, but she was attracted to him? “Yeah, he is uh, cute.” Fuck, and sexy as hell. I needed to focus here.

“What’s he up to now? Has he graduated college yet?” She stirred wasabi and soy sauce into a small bowl. “I suppose you’ve been hanging out with him since you’ve been back?”

More than hanging out. “Yeah, you could say that. Listen, um, Hazel. I have something big to tell you.” I twisted in my stool to face her, setting an elbow on the bar. Where the hell do I start? From the beginning.

Her gaze locked on mine. “What? Are you okay? Is Dad okay?”

“Yes, yes, we’re both okay. It’s not like that, it’s…” I hung my head, puffing out a breath. Fuck, just say it already. My gaze found hers again. “I…I’m queer, um, bisexual I think.”

Her eyes popped wide open, and she dropped her chopsticks on the bar top. “What?”

I wrung my hands in front of my chest. “Yeah, see, when I was in Flag, I hooked up with this guy, Tate, and?—”

“Oh my God, is that why you moved home?” She grabbed my hands and in a low voice, said, “Were you drugged?”

“What? No.” I shook my head. God, this was a mess. “He worked on my crew, and we became friends. I-I knew he was gay, and it sort of happened one night when we were drinking. Nobody drugged anyone.” My gaze searched her face, her narrowing eyes and knitting brows. I was confusing the shit out of her. “It happened completely independently of me wanting to move home. I really did want to be close to you, and Dad, and, and Milo.”

She widened her eyes again, then covered her mouth with her fingers. “Oh, shit. You and Milo? Are you hooking up, too?”

I dropped my arms to my sides. “Yes, but Milo and I are boyfriends. I…shit, I’m falling in love with him.” My heart thundered in my ears. Holy fuck, I’d admitted it out loud. I’d fallen for my best friend.

Her open mouth shifted into a broad smile. “Oh my God, that’s so adorable. You and Milo? I’m so happy for you.” She giggled, bouncing her shoulders. “You two were practically inseparable growing up. I have to say, if you were going to be gay, he’s perfect for you.”

“Yeah?” My chest and gut relaxed, and calm washed over me. I’d done it, I’d come out to someone, and the world hadn’t ended. I could do this again with Dad now.

“Yeah.” She twisted to face the bartender as he dropped off our food. “Who else have you told?” She dipped a roll in her soy sauce mixture, then stuffed it into her mouth.

“Just you.” I poured soy sauce into my bowl, then added wasabi. “I want to tell Dad next. How do you think he’ll take it?” I picked up a slice of salmon and held it over my bowl.

She chewed, then swallowed. “I don’t know. He loves Milo. He always talks so highly of him.” She bit at her lower lip. “But I don’t think he’ll be expecting this at all.” She glanced at me. “I mean, you shocked the hell out of me.”

Nodding, I said, “I get that. B-but he’ll be accepting of it, right?” I dunked the fish and shoved it into my mouth.

“He’ll accept it. He’s not going to have a problem with it.” She sipped her drink, then ate another piece of her roll. “When are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know. It’s sort of scary. This, telling you, has helped a lot.” My gaze met hers. She had no idea how relieved she’d made me.

“Good. You know I’ve got your back.” She eyed me. “Dad will be okay with it. Don’t worry.”

“But do you think it will change things between us?” It had to, right? A tightness wound through my chest.

“I don’t think so, but what does Milo have to say about it?” She picked up a slice of salmon, then dipped it in sauce.

“He’s being very understanding, but I feel like I’m letting him down by not coming out to Dad. I mean, they’ve always been close, too.” Furrowing my brows, I drank some whiskey. Maybe it would be better if Milo were there when I told Dad?

“Just sit Dad down and tell him. He’ll be shocked, but you know he’s going to be accepting. It’s who he is.” She scoffed a laugh. “Our father is the most understanding, kind man on the planet. Just tell him.” She gave me a pointed look.

“Yeah, okay.” I straightened my shoulders. I could do this. And then, maybe let my RTO know privately, so I could come out the right way at the department. I threw a roll piece into my mouth. “What do you think Mom’s going to say when I tell her?”

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