Page 92 of More Than a Spark

She went into the details of the pay, more than average for an entry level position in the Seattle area, according to my research from a year ago, with bonuses and a lucrative stock payout adding to the base salary.

Warmth landed on my shoulder and I turned around.

Ryder stood next to me and mouthed,AllAction?

I nodded at him, my whole body tingling with energy.

“…And so, if you’ll give me a verbal acceptance of this offer, I’ll email you an electronic copy for you to e-sign.”

“I uh…” I stared at Ryder, watching me. “This means moving to Seattle, right?” My heart broke in two. I knew it did. I didn’t have to ask.I can’t…

“Yes, maybe I was speaking too fast, and you missed it. But we’ll pay all your expenses to move you here. We have a fully furnished corporate apartment for you to live in for one month while you find yourself permanent housing. Your things will be kept in storage, paid by the company, until you’re ready for them.” Her breath caught. “If you find something sooner, you don’t have to live in the apartment for the month.”

“Yeah, okay.” As my mouth went dry, I forced a swallow. “Um, can I uh, can I get back to you? There are some things I need to talk about with…” My chest pinched as my gaze raked over Ryder. I finally had him. What would he do? Could he move with me? It was still a few months away. “I need to work some things out and I’ll get back to you. Okay?”

“Of course. I know it’s a big decision.” She said, “If you’re uncertain about anything, Dice will be more than happy to talk to you.”

I nodded, my vision blurring. “I don’t think that will be necessary, but thanks. Should I call you back at this number?”

“Yes. You can call anytime, even over the weekend. We’d really like to have you at AllAction, Milo,” she said. “If there’s another offer on the table, I’m sure we can match or beat it.”

“Um, no, there isn’t, but thank you. I’ll call you back as soon as I can.” I took deep breaths, attempting to calm my insides. How was it I’d have to leave Ryder, my dream man, in order to have my dream job? Life wasn’t fair.

“All right. I’ll be waiting for your call. Talk to you soon,” she said.

“Yes, talk to you soon. Goodbye.” I hung up the call and dropped my phone to my side, then slid it into the front pocket of my shorts.

“What happened?” Ryder grabbed both my arms and turned me to face him, the ghost of a grin twitching his lips. “Did you get the job?” His gaze darted between my eyes.

“I-I did.” I pressed my lips together as I blinked to clear my eyes. Could he come with me? “Can you transfer to Seattle in a few months?” He had time to apply and?—

“No, I’d have to start all over again and I can’t quit on Chandler FD that soon. After I finish the academy, I’ll be a probie for nine months. I can’t just quit on them and move to another state. No fire service would hire me. It would look bad.” He squeezed my arms. “Milo, it’s your dream job with a guy whose work you love. You have to take this.”

“I can’t. I can’t leave you.” My voice cracked. I knew he’d be like this. He was the most selfless person I’d ever known, which made me love him even more. I hung my head and held my breath as my eyes stung.

“Shit.” He hauled me into his chest, surrounding me with his arms. “We lived apart before, we can do it again. I-I’ll have four days off a week. I can find time to come see you.”

“It’s Seattle. You’d have to fly every time.” Wrapping my arms around his waist, I buried my face in his neck. I didn’t want to completely lose it, but fuck, this was hard. “I can’t do this.”

“You can and you will. You’re going to call that person back right now and accept the offer.” He kissed the side of my head and brushed his hand over my hair. “It was a good offer, right?”

My breath hitched with a laugh and my chest squeezed. “Fuck, it was an insane amount of money.” I’d be an idiot to pass this up. But Ryder…

“I’m going to miss the fuck out of you when you go.” He sniffled against my head. “Being in different cities never stopped our friendship. It won’t stop our love.”

My heart splintered into a million pieces. He wasn’t going to let me turn this down. “I can’t leave you, Ryder. You don’t understand.” I shoved him away from me. It was time to tell him all of it. Cupping his cheeks and locking my gaze to his, I said, “I’ve loved you since we met in the fourth grade. Not as a friend, but as a lover. I’vealways loved you. Are you hearing me?” I blinked and a traitorous tear tumbled down my cheek.

His brows knitted and his eyes grew shiny. “Milo…” His lips bowed down.

“It killed me every time you went on a date with a girl.” I heaved a breath. “When you moved to Flagstaff, I wanted to follow you, to go to school there instead of ASU, so I could still be close to you.” I freed a ragged exhale, another hot tear trickling down my cheek. “But then I decided to stay here, so I could get over you. I had hookup after hookup, looking for someone to replace you in my heart, but no one ever could. Not Archer, no one.” I ran my gaze over his face.

“I-I didn’t know.” He gave his head a stuttered shake. “I’m so sorry, Milo. Why didn’t you tell me? Is that why you kissed me that time in high school?”

I nodded. “I-I was drunk and wasn’t thinking, but I’d wanted you for so long. I couldn’t help myself.” I bit the side of my lower lip, my gut churning in knots. “I was scared to death the next day that I’d lost you.” I’d stayed in my bed the whole next day until he called me. Mom thought I’d done drugs.

“You can’t lose me that easily, Milo.” He kissed the trace of a tear from my cheek. “I figured the kiss was just a gay thing to do, so I didn’t think too much of it and we laughed about it later.” He released a choked sigh. “Fuck, you were serious about it though.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I feel like such an ass now.”

“It’s not your fault. I never told you. I was afraid.” I rolled my forehead against his. Could he understand now why I couldn’t take the job? “So, you see, I can’t leave you now. I can’t take that job.”

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