Page 28 of More Than a Spark

Nodding, I took in his words. Was that what I was doing all my life? Going through the motions because it was expected? “So, how did you figure your shit out?”

“I realized that the way I felt about certain guys, not all guys mind you, but certain ones wasn’t just what I’d called an admiration.” Jeremy sighed. “Just like with women. You’re not attracted to all of them, are you? Just certain ones?”

An internal fog lifted inside my brain and my eyes widened. “Oh, shit, you’re right.” Milo and Tate were two, very different types of guys, but guys that did something for me. Just the same as the different women I’d been attracted to.

Gabe said, “Don’t beat yourself up over it, Ryder. Human sexuality is very complicated. There are various amounts of being bisexual and in different ways. Hell, some guys only like twinks, some like bears, some like…whatever. You like what you like, and it sounds like you may have been attracted to Milo all along.”

“Yeah, and I didn’t have to face it until I’d hooked up with a guy and moved home. Until I allowed myself to see Milo like that.” An ache wormed its way into my heart. “I’ve always loved him, but this…this is new. I had to witness him with a date instead of just hearing about it afterwards.” I rubbed my chest. “If he breaks it off with Archer, do you really think I have a chance?”

“I know you have a chance. I know you’re both afraid of it destroying your friendship, but I believe you can make it work even morebecauseof your friendship.” Gabe said.

Scanning my room, I let his words sink in. This could really change my life. But God, how I wanted Milo to be mine. If it could work, I couldn’t pass this up.

“Talk to him, Ryder. Take a chance. Taking a chance with Gabe was the best thing I ever did,” Jeremy said.

“Yeah, thanks, man. I really appreciate you talking to me. I know what I’ve gotta do.” I breathed in deeply. Milo was going to see a new side of me on Friday.

“You’re welcome. I’m looking forward to our new band wife.” Gabe chortled, then hung up the phone.

Staring at my phone, I let a wide smile creep over my lips. If Milo would have me, that’s what I’d be.

NINE

MILO

It was mid-week, and I was on my lunch break, sitting in my cubicle, eating a grilled cheese sandwich from the cafeteria and thinking about Ryder…again. I wasn’t getting anything out of Gabe, so I’d have to wait until Friday to see what the hell was going on. With a sigh, I bit into my sandwich, then set it in the plastic container next to the fries that had come with it and scanned over the last Facebook graphic I’d made on one of my two displays.

The campaigns we were running for this tech company were so boring. This last one was of a nerdy stock photo guy with his laptop, smiling like an idiot with a lightbulb going off over his head. Fuck, I could do better. The creativity was being sucked out of me more and more with each day I worked here.

Ryder had said I should get into gaming. I did have an idea for a really cool game, complete with hot villains and sexy heroes, all centered around a fantastical universe, sort of like Avatar—the movie, not the cartoon. I twisted my lips. Gaming companies were hard to get into. But I was graduating after this next semester. My gaze dropped to the date in the corner of my screen. Which was going to start in two weeks.

Huffing, I grabbed my mouse and started clicking, then peeked up over the high, gray wall of my cubicle. Not many people were around since it was lunchtime. I tapped on my keyboard and searched forgaming artist jobs. I started clicking on various websites and posts, then landed on one that looked promising. AllAction Games was hiring new college grads for graphic design. Damn, they’d created some of my favorite video games and their graphics were always killer. Plus, the infamous Dice Recker ran the show there. My hero. No way would they want me…would they? Fuck it. It was a long shot, but why not fill out the application and see?

I spent the next hour filling in the online fields of the form, then finally sent my resume with a link to my portfolio on the DeviantArt website. Thankfully, I’d spent some time updating all my work last semester.

As I sat back in my chair, my lips tugged into a grin. I had been able to get Ryder off my mind for a whole hour. Success.

* * *

On Friday,after driving home from my intern job, I drove onto our street to find Ryder’s red Ford truck parked in front of the band house. “Shit.” He hadn’t texted me or anything. How long had he been here? Hopefully someone had let him in. It was hot as hell outside, almost one-fifteen.

As I pulled into the driveway, I turned to peek inside his truck. It was empty. He must be inside. Maybe Silas had been home and let him in? My heart jumped. Leaving Ryder alone with Silas probably wasn’t a good thing.

After parking my car, I climbed out and stalked to the front door, glancing inside the window to the main room.

Ryder, wearing his navy-blue Flagstaff Fire Department shirt and jeans, was sitting on the couch with Silas planted next to him.

“Fuck, here we go.” I opened the door and walked inside.

Silas and Ryder both straightened and looked up at me.

“Good talk, dude. Go get ‘em.” With a smirk, Silas slapped Ryder’s shoulder.

Standing up, Ryder rubbed his hands together and licked his lips. “Hi, uh, Milo.” He scratched at his cheek.

Silas clapped his hands on his thighs, then popped up. “I’m going to go find something to do in my bedroom. Not sure what, but I’ll figure it out. Maybe fold some underwear or socks or something.” He freed a soft snort, then strode into the hallway to the bedroom.

“So, can we talk now?” Ryder stepped to me, his face draining of color.

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