Page 62 of Crazy Love

“Then why does it feel like you’re hiding something from me? You never told me how you hurt your hand.”

“Are you seriously the type of woman who needs to know my every move? Who needs to know everything that’s going on in my life?” Anthony backs away from me, hooking his hands up behind his head. “If I’d known you were going to be apossessivegirlfriend, I might’ve thought twice about this arrangement.”

He said it to be mean, to deliberately slice into my heart.

It works.

“I’m not your girlfriend.” The words feel dirty coming out of my mouth. “We’ve fucked a couple of times. Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

Anthony shakes his head in disbelief, his hands now planted on his hips. His heaving chest and pulsating jaw are his tells. He’s angry, he’sfuriousand as a smile devoid of humour creeps across his face, my stomach sinks. It’s one of those smiles someone gives you because they know they’re in on a dirty secret or are about to deliver a punchline that’ll make your soul leave your body.

“Of course.” His voice drips with sarcasm. “You’re not my girlfriend and never will be, right? Because you don’t do feelings or relationships. Even if I’m dating orfuckingsomeone else,” he snarls, the emphasis on that word sending an involuntary jolt through me, “that’d be okay. Because this thing between you and me was only a bet. A bit of fun.”

I clench my teeth. “Right.”

“You’re so full of shit.”

Inexplicable rage courses through my body, the words spilling from my mouth without thought behind them. “Itoldyou I didn’t want anything more than that. I’m sorry you got the wrong idea.”

“Are you trying to convince me or you?” Anthony tilts his head. “You’re going to stand there and tell me you don’t have feelings for me?”

“That’s what I’m telling you,” I snap.

Anthony steps forward, his eyes narrowed into slits. “Liar.”

“I’mthe liar?”

“You want me to be honest?” Anthony’s rage roars behind his eyes. “Here are some truths for you.” He holds up his right hand, which is red and cut up. “I got this from punching Nathan in the face, moments before he admitted he drugged you and several other women with GHB, and moments after I cut his hand open with a knife.”

A gasp catches in my throat, trying to process the revelations quickly, but Anthony doesn’t give me time for that. His eyes gleam with rage as he keeps talking. “Want me to continue this honesty train, Kali? Let’s talk about Chloe, shall we?”

The shift in his tone heightens every nerve ending in my body. My skin prickles with warning. My throat dries. The look on Anthony’s face is almost violent. Not at me, but at himself, like he wishes he didn’t have to say the next words. And for a second, I want to stop him.

“Chloe didn’t die because we were sitting on the couch hanging out,” he says. “Chloe died because we were sitting on the couch gettinghigh.Withmystash after I suggested we do it. Me and my stupid god damned decisions are the reasons she’s dead. That’s why I go to therapy. That’s why I don’t drink, or smoke weed, or fall back onto any of the vices that got me into this fucking mess in the first place. Being an addict is bad enough, but when someonediesbecause of you, there isn’t anywhere lower you can go.” Anthony throws his arms in the air. “How’s that for honesty? Are you happy? Now you know the whole, dirty truth.”

A deafening silence settles between us as Anthony’s eyes rage with fury, the sparkling in them vanishing as he stares at me. “What? Suddenly you have nothing to say?”

I struggle to form a sentence before whispering, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why do you think?” Anthony spits. “Because it’s the biggest regret of my life.”

I shake my head. “But the money-”

Anthony lets out a howl of frustration. “You’re still on that? After everything I just said, you’re onthat?You know, I’m used to other people assuming the worst of me, but I never thought you’d be one of them.”

Nausea comes in a giant wave that threatens to knock me to the ground; the hurt on Anthony’s face almost splitting me open from the inside.

“I’m not even that upset,” he continues. “Because I pity you. You need any excuse to push me away because you’re a coward.”

I bite the inside of my cheek. “I’m not a coward.”

Anthony grits his jaw. “Yes, you are. You’ve made something out of nothing so you can blame our relationship failure on me and it’s easier to walk away.”

A scoff escapes my throat. The audacity of this man is baffling. “You really are a gifted gas lighter.”

“I may have not told you the whole truth about my past, but that’s because I didn’t want to scare you away. But I’ve been nothing but honest with how I feel.”

I throw my hands in the air. “That is such a load of shit! You can’t pick and choose what to lie about and then claim you’re doing the right thing. I might not be your version of perfect, or know what I want, but at least I’m honest about that.”

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