Page 27 of Twisted Minds

Yeah, I’m waiting, what’s taking so long?

Relief hits me. I can pay for a taxi, but I’d rather force gas money on Sawyer that he’ll refuse to take but I’ll end up stuffing somewhere anyway.

Hunter:

Be right out.

Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I walk through the parking lot, feeling weird. It feels like someone’s watching me, but it’s quiet and I’m just on edge after everything with Derrick and then Mark. I see Sawyer in his mother’s red Honda and get inside. “What took you so long?” he says.

I could mention Mark, but instead I say, “Derrick showed up at practice. Caused this whole thing. Sorry.”

Sawyer’s answering glare is all I need to keep my mind off Mark and Noah. “Asshole.” Agreed. I reach into my pocket grabbing a ten-dollar bill. “Stuff it up your ass.”

“Oh, kinky. Do you have lube? You know I don’t bottom, but for you I might.” I wink, then wince when he punches my arm.

“I don’t want your money, or your ass. You know this.”

I do, but I don’t care. Subtly, I tuck it into the door handle on my side. He can bitch at me later. “You’re coming to the first game, right? Derrick won’t be there. He’s not allowed near the arena.”

“Of course.”

Mark is friends with Noah, and I’ve never been the kind of boyfriend who felt possessive or even jealous. I’m not sure why this is affecting me so badly. I mean, I did see Noah after he’d literally just slept with Mark, so jealously is definitely on the table. Mark insists they’re only friends now, though, so maybe I’m just too close to it to make any sense.

“You’re quiet?” Sawyer comments.

“Sorry.”

“No. No, it’s nice. I wasn’t complaining.” I shove his shoulder. “What’s up?”

“Can I ask a favor?”

“You sidelined Derrick’s NHL career, you can ask anything.”

“You know I’m seeing that guy.”

“Yeah.”

“I think it’s getting a little serious.”

“Okay . . .”

“He has this friend . . . they used to sleep together.” I think about how to put this. “He insists they aren’t together like that anymore. They were friends with benefits for a bit. Can you just kind of gauge their vibe for me?” My knee starts to bounce, and I don’t like this. I’ve never been this person. I’m not normally jealous. “Can we go out to eat before?”

“Okay.” He seems hesitant. “Although if you’re that worried maybe this isn’t a good idea. After what happened with your ex.”

“I know, but . . .” I can’t help but smile. “I really like him.” Everything just feels so different with Mark. I’ve had a few relationships since high school, but nothing compares to the feelings Mark gives me. We just click.

“I suppose I can feel it out for you.”

“Thanks.” I see our driveway. Rubbing my chest, I hate the anxiety that hits me when I go home now. It never used to be like this. I’ve shared a bedroom with Jamie since I was sixteen.He’s one of the closest people to me, too close to be called just a friend. He’s my family. He’s my brother in every way that counts.

“It’s still bad?”

I sigh, nodding. “It’s like some days it’s okay, but one thing will happen and we’ll be back at square one.” At least I’m not enemy number one. At least he talks to me normally most of the time. The outbursts are hard to watch, but it’s nothing like hearing Jamie cry at night. It makes my gut twist just thinking about it. Seeing the self-loathing in Jamie’s dark eyes is painful.

“He getting any better?”

I swallow the emotion in my throat. “One time, when we were in high school, Jamie and I snuck out of the house. We found someone to buy us vodka and we played beer pong with street-closure signs and a piece of plywood we found down this abandoned one-way street. It was so much fun, we just laughed and played and talked about all the bullshit we’d been through and the things we wanted for the future. It was one of the best nights of my life actually.” I feel my throat tighten and I blink rapidly. Heat hugs my eyes. “Sometimes, when I look at him, I realize that although his body survived, Jamie died that night too. The person he is right now is unrecognizable. I can’t picture him ever being happy again, ever being that carefree. That hurts more than I can stand.”

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