My eyes are heavy, and I don’t want to risk falling asleep, so I step out into the blue glow and, tin in hand, slowly make my way over to the crossroads. I reach down and pluck some white yarrow flowers, bringing them to my nose, inhaling the delicate, earthy-yet-sweet aroma before tucking them into the tin.
I sit down cross-legged in the grass and wait. A few cars pull into the old bar lot, and I watch as the various patrons stumble in and out, without taking notice of me at all. The air is crisp and cool, the large full moon illuminating everythingaround me. Time passes so much faster when you want it to move slowly. I can’t slow it down, though. It’s almost time now.
“No turning back now,” I grumble as I push to my feet. “For Daphne.”
As I had done before, I move to the middle of the intersection and squat down. I dig at the gravelly dirt road with my fingers until I have a small but deep enough hole and drop the tin in, before sliding the pile of dirt on top of it. “Now I wait.”
Wiping my hands on my pants, my knees crack loudly as I stand. My heart is pounding and I’m dizzy. A slight breeze kicks up, and my stomach sinks. “Here we go.”
The dirt swirls on the ground in front of me, and with a swooshing pop, I am thrown back in disbelief at the figure suddenly in front of me.This cannot be.
“Noooooooo,” I wail and crumble to the ground, unable to catch my breath. My eyes fill with emotion as I look up at Lulu, black eyed and grinning down at me. I sputter, “What have you done?”
“I did what needed to be done,” she says, reaching to pull me up off the ground. “I wasn’t about to let you clean up my Garrett's mess.”
“But Lulu,” I sob, dragging my arm across my face, fighting to take control of my swirling thoughts. “This wasmymess. How did you…why did you…”
“Listen,” she interrupts. “I knew you had feelings for the girl the moment I saw you. I’ve been like a mama to you since you could piss in the woods. I couldn’t let you do something stupid and let you give your life up.”
I am so confused. “But how did you know?”
“The dreams I have are pretty specific,” she says. “Two nights ago, I had a visit from an angel who told me what you were up to. I guess you could call it a divine intervention. It left me with an easy decision to make. So here I am.”
“This doesn’t make any sense,” I argue. “I thought that taking over for Daphne requires an act of pure love. You don’t love Daphne. This is all wrong.”
“There’s my always-too-literal fellow,” she teases. “It’s not Daphne that I love. It’syou.”
A sob frees itself from within me, and I tremble. “But I can’t let you do this.”
“You don’t have a choice, Maxy. It’s done.”
“That’s not good enough. You can’t expect me to allow this.”
Her smile drops away, and the black drains from her eyes. She looks like the old Lulu, which only makes me cry harder. “I want to do this, Max. My entire life, I’ve been nothing but a mess. I’ve never contributed anything good to this world. This is my chance to set things right, to do something…
“That’s not true,” I interrupt, now angry at her self-deprecation. “You were there for me when I had no one else. You treated me like a real son. You’re the reason I made it out of my youth alive.”
“And what would that be for, if I let you throw it all away now? This is my time to go, Max. My time to do the right thing.”
“But I don’t want you to be stuck here, like this,” I say, shaking my head. “This isn’t fair.”
“It’s more than fair. Besides,” she says, “the cancer was about to claim me anyway.”
Her words catch me off guard, and I wonder if she’s making this up to make her sacrifice easier to accept. “You never said anything about cancer.”
“Didn’t want to trouble you,” she says. “It happens when you spend your days living as hard as I did.”
“But still,” I say, shaking my head again. “That’s no reason to…
“It sure as hell is,” she snaps, but then smiles warmly at me. “This is done, and you won’t change my mind. Now give your old Lulu one last hug and go back to that girl of yours. You deserve to be happy, Max.”
I stare at her as she opens her arms for an embrace, but I can’t move. Twice now, I have been outsmarted at the crossroads. She is the last of my family, and I don’t want it to end like this.
“Come on now,” she says, flapping her hands. “You ain't getting any younger.”
Hesitantly, I step into her arms and melt against her frail form. “I love you, Lulu.”
“I love you too, Maxy,” she whispers. “Now go and live the best life you can dream up.”