Page 92 of How to Entice a Fiend

His dark eyes tell me that he isn’t teasing me right now, so I drop the grin.

“Can you talk about it? Can you talk about what you’re afraid of?”

He raises an eyebrow as if to tell me that I really am confused if I don’t know the answer to that.

“I know that Abel is obviously an issue, but… realistically, if we fail, we’re all going to die anyway. We might as well die happy. If he dies, then there’s no issue at all.”

“You don’t understand.”

“You say that, but how do you expect me to when you refuse to tell me what I should be understanding?”

Ender is quiet, telling me he’s done with this conversation. But maybe there’s hope that once Abel is dead… if we can kill him, that is… we’ll make it through this, and maybe he’ll choose to kiss me next time.

Finally, Ender says, “You saw me lose control.”

“You were affected by the bullet and lack of blood, so it’s completely understandable. And I know you feel bad about it. I promise I’m not holding it against you. If I were, would I be here right now?”

“It’s not… Yes, the bullet set it off, but Abel used this state to control me. I don’t know if it’s part of why I’m different. I don’t know what it is, but he managed to find a way to fuck with my mind enough that I’d do what he asked. I don’t know if it’s because those who are turned by someone are often more inclined to follow their maker’s wishes… but he didn’t turn me the traditional way… I don’t even know how he turned me. I remember very little of it. I just remember thinking that I was dying, that these two monsters were killing me. But I can’t always control myself. And just like last time, when I can’t, I have no idea what I could do. I could kill you.”

“You adore Rylee, but you keep her with you.”

“Because I’m selfish,” he says, looking guilty. “Because she has no one and nothing and… I… needed something. Because she reminded me of my niece. Because I wanted to do something right for all of the wrongs I did. Yet how the fuck did it still end up so wrong?”

I reach out and ruffle his hair before pulling him in and hugging him to me. He immediately stiffens and acts like he wants to pull away, but I’m not going to let him go anywhere just yet. “I’m sorry. I hope someday you can live without having to worry that something will happen to her.”

“But that’s just it. Even after Abel is long gone, what happens if I lose control one day?”

“Then maybe I’ll be there to help you. I want to help you,” I say, even though I don’t quite know what that would look like.CouldI stop him? I really don’t think I could. But I still say it because maybe I’m selfish as well. I yearn for comfort, family, someone… anyone. But how long has Ender been alone? Hell,I’ve been alone years and he could have been alone centuries. It’s no wonder he caved and took Rylee as his own.

He sighs and sets his head against my shoulder. “Fucking hell… we need to keep moving. This is getting us no closer to answers.”

“Right, right,” I say as I grudgingly get up, but the way he slowly releases me tells me that maybe he isn’t as eager to get rid of me as he acted.

Once up, I gather everything I made and toss it into a bag I’d found behind the professor’s desk. I sling it over my shoulder and hurry into the classroom to join the others.

“Good news, I am done. Bad news, I don’t have any syringes or needles, so currently the antidote is useless. Think you could get me some?” I ask.

Finn looks up and nods. “Of course. We’ve figured out where they’re holding Grady and plan to drop Rylee off at the department with River and Bentley. She isnotpleased, which can be seen by the massive pout on her face.”

She lets out a whine and runs to Ender, wrapping her arms around him and wailing out, “I don’t want to leave you.”

“When did you get so dramatic?” he asks as he picks her up. Not to hug her but to shake her a little, like that’ll make the wailing stop. It does make her smile a bit. “And your face is so gross. Wipe your face off.” Ender grabs a handful of tissues and kind of just splats them against her face. “There. Now I don’t have to see it.”

“Nooooooo! My face is showing you how sad I am. I finally get to see you again but then I can’t see you because that guy is off doing science, and now, I can’t see you because they’re mean.”

“They are mean, that’s definitely why you can’t see me and not at all because we want to keep you safe and out of danger,” he says sarcastically.

“I’m a vampire. Look at my fangs!” She tries to show Ender her teeth. “I don’t need anyone to protect me. Look at ’em.”

“Oh wow, I might as well kick back and watch you take care of everything for me. You’re like a piranha.”

Rylee’s eyes narrow. “You’re making fun of me.”

“I would never,” he says. “They’re going to make a ballad about those fangs.”

Her eyes narrow even more. “You. Are. EVIL!”

“Thank you,” he says. “So then… why do you want to hang around me?”

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