Page 65 of How to Entice a Fiend

“Ice cream coming right up. Marcus, you want some?” I ask, so I can distract Marcus from explainingwhyEnder isn’t the best.

“No thanks.”

“Man, what a weirdo, right?” I ask Rylee. For some reason, that makes her cry harder. Apparently, we’re quite good at this.

Leaving that mess to Marcus, I hurry down the stairs and start scooping up the ice cream before returning to find Marcus reading the book in the most monotone fashion possible. “‘Sandra sees something orange dash across the street as Eddie yells, “There she is.” Together?—’”

“You gotta do the voices. En does the voices! You sound like you hate life! You sound as miserable as I feel!” Rylee whines.

Marcus’s face scrunches up in disgust. “I can’t do the voices. Here, Finn.”

“No, you can do the voices,” I urge as I dodge the hand trying to pass the book off to me before handing Rylee her ice cream cone. “I want to eat my ice cream, and I need two hands for that.”

“I’ve seen you eat ice cream, read a book, and pet the dog all at the same time, you’re not fooling me.”

“Ohhhh, my arm. It aches today so I only have one hand to hold the cone as the other sits uselessly.” It’s all quite dramatic and oddly doesn’t seem to convince him. “We’ll listen. Go on now. Do the voices.”

Marcus grumbles but gives a curt nod. He’s such a good partner. “‘Sandra dashes after Eddie as they reach the large tunnel the cat disappeared into. “I think Buttercup ran in here,” Sandra says.’”

I nearly choke on my ice cream as Rylee stares at Marcus in fascination. “Oh my. How old is Sandra? Is she related to Batman?Isshe Batman? I bet she’s Batman. What do you think, Rylee?” I ask.

Rylee giggles as she nods.

Marcus gives me a look. “She doesn’t… no! Just… if you have a problem with it, you can read it.”

I lick my ice cream in bliss. This really is quite fun. Picking on Marcus does seem to be one of my favorite pastimes. “I’m busy eating! Right, Rylee? I mean… he should learn, at the very least.”

“Her voice is perfectly fine as it is,” Marcus decides.

“Is it?” I ask. “Poor Sandra is hitting her midlife crisis at the early age of ten.”

“She is not. You’re so picky.”

“I would never be picky!” I say. “Just… do better.”

This makes Rylee giggle even more.

Marcus sighs and turns back to the book. “‘The tunnel is tall enough they can stand in it as they hear the pitter-patter of Buttercup’s feet. “I think she went this way! Let’s go!” Eddie shouts.’”

“Oh noooooo. Rylee, that’s what happens when you start smoking from the young age of two weeks. That’s what you’d sound like. This is why you don’t ever want to smoke, okay?”

Rylee is laughing so hard that Marcus just closes the book and tosses it onto the bedside table before stoically sitting there with his arms folded over his chest.

“I give up,” he declares.

“It’s so bad,” Rylee says. She’s so distracted by how bad it is that her cat sneaks a lick of the ice cream. It’s evidently quite cold on his tongue because he makes a strange face that makes Rylee laugh even harder. “En would have found it so funny.”

And then her happiness plummets and she licks her ice cream in misery.

“Marcus, read again,” I urge, and since Rylee is close to tears, Marcus seems to realize that getting picked on about his reading is significantly better than dealing with tears.

He hurries over and retrieves the book which he resumes reading. It makes her smile, but I think her sadness is outweighing it. When she’s done with her ice cream, she returns to squeezing the cat who has recovered from his ice cream escapades.

A knock on the door makes Marcus quickly close the book with a “Finally,” even though I was quite enjoyingThe Adventures of Batman and Chain-smoker.

The door opens and Claude peeks in. “I heard that someone was feeling a little down, and when I feel down, you know what I like to do?”

“Look at yourself in the mirror?” Rylee guesses.

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