Page 63 of How to Entice a Fiend

I close my eyes again but all I find is my mind wandering back to that small box Abel used to torture me; the darkness that consumes me and threatens to tear me under where I’ll never be able to find my way out. Hastily, I open my eyes and am startled when I feel Mads’s hand on my thigh. He doesn’t say anything, he just gives it a gentle squeeze. I don’t know what exactly he thinks he’s doing or what he thinks this touch does.

I want to tell him to remove it, but instead, I’m stuck staring at it. My mind drifts back to my brother’s comfort and what it felt like to have someone in my life. Someone who cared about me, would take care of me, and was happy to see me. We grew up so close to each other. When he fell in love and got married, he still drew me into his life. He never let me feel alone. And when his daughter was born, he pulled me in more than ever to be a part of her life. I remember the first time I held her. I remember the way she looked at me as she grew older. She thought I was so much neater than I was. She wanted me to teach her everything I knew. Rylee reminds me of her—adoring me for absolutely no reason at all.

And then I killed my brother and because of me, my precious niece’s mother was also ripped out of her life and I never found out what happened to her. I can’t imagine Abel let her live.

I push Mads’s hand off.

“FUCK,” I shout as I grab my head.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I wasn’t thinking,” Mads says, sounding pained.

I hesitate and realize that I feel bad for making him think it was something he did and not because I’m trying to protect himfrom myself. “How could you possibly think it’s something you did when everything fucked up in my life is because of me?”

“I don’t believe that,” Mads tells me. “From what I’ve seen, it’s apparent that man has fucked with you. I don’t know what he did to you… but you can’t blame yourself. Please, stop blaming yourself. You can go back to pretending you’re asleep. I’ll shut up.”

“You don’t have to shut up,” I say.

“I thought you liked it when I was quiet.”

“I don’t know what I like anymore.”

“Hmm… well… you like drinking my blood.”

“I… I was nearly dying.”

“You liked stripping me.”

“That timeyouwere almost dying.”

“You act like you hate it when I ramble, but it’s the only time you interact freely.”

I sigh at this man who is trying to figure me out. “No.”

Mads looks away from the road and risks destroying the car just to smile at me. I do not smile in return, which annoyingly makes his smile broaden.

“Look at the fucking road before?—”

I see a flash of something a moment before it collides with the car. It hits the window and is whipped right off as Mads hits the gas instead of the brakes.

“You just hit a vampire.”

He shakes his head. “I did no such thing.”

“Because you were staring at me. Because you weresmilingat me instead of paying attention.”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

I wave toward the cracked windshield. Like is there really any possible way to play it off with the windshield this cracked? “Can you even see out of the windshield now?”

“I can see just fine. Do you need to get your eyes checked? You seem to be seeing things.”

“You literally took the car and drove itintoa vampire. That’s what I was seeing! We don’t even know if it was an evil vampire or just some soul walking across the street.”

“I think that you are hearing things.”

“And seeing things? Look at you leaning to the side because you can’t see out of the windshield.”

“I have a crick in my neck from lying on rock in the nude for so long. I’m leaning this way to relieve it.”

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