Page 86 of A Forgotten Mistake

“Who wants to hold her? Matthew, do you want to hold her?” Jesse asks as he pops open the cage. The tarantula crawls onto his hand with very minimal prompting.

I’ve never seen Matthew move so fast as he does a smooth flip over the back of my couch before scurrying away. “See, Matthew, if you moved that fast while setting up chairs and tables, you’d have been done hours ago.”

“You don’t like spiders?” Jesse asks, looking a bit heartbroken.

Gabriel, who clearly also isn’t interested in any part of this, slowly gets closer, and Jesse seems thrilled. “She’s… cute. With her little hairy legs… and eyes… so many eyes.”

“Isn’t she?” Jesse asks. “Want to hold her?”

“Ohhhhh. You know…” Gabriel looks like he’d rather hold literally anything else.

I decide that I’ll swoop in to save Gabriel. “I’ll hold her,” I say as I hold my hand out.

Once Jesse has me sitting on the couch, he presses his hand to mine and she walks onto my hand while scrutinizing me. I realize that maybe Jesse isn’t half bad if his pet is this useful at keeping Matthew away from me.

“Gabriel, why don’t you have one of these instead?” I ask as I eye his cat who is busy scowling at my cat. The tarantula is busy crawling from one hand to the next. “Would you like to watch me crack open some crab legs, Nefertiti? You look like you’d enjoy that.”

“You’re not putting that on the counter,” Gabriel hisses.

“Why’s it cute when your cat does it, then?” I ask.

Jesse seems delighted that I have an interest in his creepy pet. And then there’s Matthew hovering by the door,wanting to get laid but realizing there’s a tarantula-sized object cockblocking him.

“If I knew it was this easy to keep Matthew away, I’d have gotten one of my own before now,” I say. “I’d wear it like a pocket square.” I pass the spider back to Jesse since I can’t leave my food for too long. They all follow me into the kitchen, although Matthew stays a healthy distance away.

Gabriel looks around at everything going on. “Liam… I thought you were making a turkey… why are there steaks and lobster and crab?”

“So your mother will love me,” I say. “She said she loved lobster and steak, so that is what she’ll get. There’s a turkey too.”

Gabriel stares at me. “Hon, this is a lot.”

“The moment you called him ‘hon,’ he was in so much euphoria that he stopped listening,” Jesse says as he smiles at Nefertiti.

Matthew is still horrified but also clearly wants Jesse’s attention, so he hovers near him.

“Well, I’m going to drop my sweets off, but I’ll be back. Anyone else want to hold her before I leave?”

“Matthew does,” I say.

“Matthew does not,” Matthew hisses.

“Matthew told me the other day that he’s never wanted anything more in his life than to hold your creepy spider.”

“Matthew said no such thing,” Matthew insists.

“And Jesse said that he would immediately fall in love with a big strong man who’d hold his spider,” I say.

“I guess you’re the only one I can fall in love with, then,” Jesse says to me with a laugh. He puts his horror pet back in her little cage before heading out.

“What can I help with?” Gabriel asks.

“The only thing you need to do is look handsome, and you’re already accomplishing it. It helps me recover from having to look at Matthew.”

“I’ll fuck you up so fucking hard,” Matthew grumbles.

“So when are you going to buy a house for Jesse?” I ask.

“W-What? Oh, he doesn’t… he doesn’t like me in that way,” Matthew says. “I’m very much not Jesse’s type. Jesse’s type generally has… you know…” He mimes breasts.

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