Page 57 of The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance

I grunt in reply since a verbal agreement with this man would be one step too far. “What’d you need, anyway?”

“You know how to do math?” he asks as he points at Waylon and Jackson who are both staring at a worksheet in confusion.

“What, you think I’m an idiot? Of course I’m good at math,” I say as I strut over, pick up the paper, and then promptly set it back down.

“That’s not math.”

“Right?” Leland asks.

Waylon sighs and slumps down on the table. “I give up.”

“I would too. You’re usually so smart that I’m shocked you’re even stumped,” Leland says.

“I know! I’ve disappointed myself,” Waylon whines. “I missed a lot of school and this teacher does things a strange way. If I could just do it my way and show no work, I’d be fine! Like I can figure out the answer, but I don’t know how to get it using their method.”

“You’re not giving up,” Jackson says. “Cassel is super smart. We’ll ask him.”

“I texted him a bit ago, but you know how he gets when he’s all wrapped up in his computer. He forgets other lives exist. Even pictures of The Fence won’t get him to respond,” Leland replies. “Okay, here’s what we’ll do. We’ll kidnap your teacher so you have a sub tomorrow. Then we will let your teacher go when we finally figure it out.”

“That sounds horribly illegal,” Waylon says.

“It’s this or an F, buddy,” Leland tells him.

Waylon grimaces as he weighs his options. “I really don’t want an F. I’ve finally started to get my grades up after missing so much school because of that… shit… stuff. I don’t know if I’m allowed to cuss or not. Leland totes a blow-up doll around, and I’m just generally confused on what’s allowed here.”

“We are not abducting your teacher,” Jackson states.

“I understand,” Leland says. “But we could abduct someone else who is smart at math. Who is the smartest kid in your school?”

The look on Jackson’s face quickly nips that in the bud.

“I can ask Ellis,” I suggest. “He seems intelligent… maybe? I think? I mean… he did throw a gun at me without sliding the safety on… but maybe he’s good at math. Let me ask him. Realistically, out of all of us, he’s the one who finished school most recently.”

I head upstairs and push through the door where Ellis jumps and rubs his face before quickly turning away, and I realize withhorrorthat I’ve walked in on a crying man.

What the fuck do I do now?

Do I pretend I don’t notice? Do I play it off like “Yo, tears are manly. You’re free to cry.” But now I just sound weird as fuck. I should like… hug him or something, right? That sounds awkward.

Should I run? Yes. I should tell him I forgot something out there and just go back out.

“I forgot my underwear,” I blurt out before tossing a thumbs-up, which is as awkward as it can be, and then hurry toward the door. Why the fuck did I pick underwear? Why was that the first word that came to my mind?

“Oh… okay?” he says.

But now that I’m facing the door, with no underwear to go retrieve and my mind racing, I don’t know what to do. I’m just standing here debating life, debating all of my choices, and wondering what I should do. I’ve now stood here so long that it’s become weird. I know it’s weird. He clearly knows it’s weird. We all know it’s weird.

My hand is on the doorknob, but I can’t commit to turning it. Instead, I take a deep breath.

I can do this.

IfLelandcan do this,Ican do it.

“You can stop overanalyzing everything. I’m sorry,” Ellis says.

“Overanalyzing? Ha. As if I would do that. I was doing no such thing.”

“Okay.”

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