Page 40 of The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance

“He said his truck is broken down. I think it’s just a way to serial kill us,” Tavish mutters.

“How exciting,” I respond. “How about I send Jackson’s mom, Ava, to come pick you two up? That could be fun, especially if he really is a serial killer.”

“You want my mom to get murdered?” Jackson mistakenly asks.

“No! Honey! Of course not! Never! I’m just saying that your mom is a very strong independent woman who would save those two if this guy is a serial killer. That’s all I’m saying.”

“I’ll send Jerebear to pick them up and bring them here,” Cassel says. “He loves helping out.”

“Does he?” I ask suspiciously. He sure seems to bitch a lot for a guy who “loves helping out.” Thinking about how much he bitched when I abducted him for a magically fun time, I can only imagine if I’d asked him to help me do something!

“He loves helping out everyone but you,” Cassel corrects.

I narrow my eyes at the irritating man. Clearly,very clearly, he needs his ass kicked.

“Okay, we’ll patiently wait here until someone can fetch us. If you never hear from us again, you know what happened,” Tavish says. “He looks like the kind of guy who’d taxidermy you.”

“Sounds like you two should get along fantastically,” I tell him. “Ooh, plane is coming in. I’m going to let you go and fuck some motherfuckers up.”

“Do we even really know what we’re doing?” Cassel asks.

“Not a damn clue but I’m excited to do it,” I say as I hang up on Tavish who soon sends me a location to be picked up at. I hand that off to Cassel then turn to Jackson, who is sitting in the driver’s seat.

“You ready, babe?”

“I’m… not sure what we’re doing?”

“We’ll take them as prisoners. Torture them into telling us something. It’s torture timez, my boyz. Mask up, bitches!” I toss everyone the ski masks that I’ve had since I abducted my lovely friends not too long ago.

Cassel and Jackson tug theirs on before I grin at Jackson.

“Sexy man. You know that mask turns me on.” I boop his lips, which are the only thing I can see through the mask besides his eyes.

Cassel hesitates. “Don’t tell me you had sex wearing these masks.”

I just give him a manic grin and Cassel starts to panic.

“Oh my god, no. Did you stick your penis through the hole, Leland? Which mask, Leland? Which mask was it?”

“The one you’re wearing does have a peculiar curly hair?—”

“We didn’t have sex with the masks on,” Jackson cuts in, destroying all my fun.

Cassel is eyeing both of us, like he could possibly think that Jackson could be lying. Jackson’s too sweet and far too good to lie about it.

“Come on, let’s go,” Jackson says as we all get out of the car. I come around to his side and simply guide him back into the vehicle and use the key fob to lock the door so he can patiently wait inside.

He seems confused as he presses on the unlock, so I quickly relock it.

“Leland, what are you doing?” Jackson asks, trying to be faster, but I’m fast as fuck. This man is not going anywhere.

“Cassel, I’d like to enlist you in the job of keeping this door locked. It’s like a game.”

“Come on, Leland!” Jackson yells as I keep locking it faster and faster.

“Honey bunny, I’m keeping you safe. We’re papas now. We both have to stay super safe for Waylon.”

“But you think it’s okay for you to wander off alone?”

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