Page 39 of The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance

“Give it to me,” I say as I snatch it back and call my mom… who immediately hangs up the call because she refuses to answer numbers she doesn’t know. I text her: It’s Ellis, answer.

And when I call the second time, she answers.

“Hey, hon, whose phone are you calling from? I called you last night, but you ignored me. I assumed you were out picking up some hot guys or something. I’m joking, I know you were playing video games.”

“Mom, I’ve been abducted and taken to Murder Island, and then I was shoved out a fucking airplane and had to skydive to the ground and now they’re coming for you and Sienna, and you guys need to call the police or something.”

“Honey, did you try drugs or something? What’s going on?”

“I’m not on drugs,” I say, and Tavish laughs about that.

“I got some marijuana if you want some,” Shovel Guy offers.

“Who’s that? Who’s with you? Did he have you try drugs?”

“No! Mom, I’m not joking. The guy who took me is someone who knows Dad. He wants to know where he is or something about him. And I don’t know if Dad ever told you what this guy wants to know, but he said he was going to hurt us until we told him.”

Mom’s quiet for a minute. “Ellis, where are you?” Her voice is tight with worry.

“I don’t know. Some… field or something. I’m okay right now, but I’m worried that they know where you two are. Please get somewhere safe.”

“I’m going to make a call, but I’ll call you right back on this number?”

“Okay.”

“I love you,” she says.

“I love you too.”

“Let me see the phone now,” Tavish says. “I have an idea of how to get ahold of Leland and Jackson.”

THIRTEEN

LELAND

“Are you calling to hear about our dear Lord and Savior The Fence?” I ask, which is a weirdly good way of getting rid of telemarketers. They never seem to call back. Maybe someday I will find a fellow fence enthusiast.

“It’s me,” Tavish says. I put him on speaker so Jackson and Cassel can also hear what useless things he has to say.

“Ah, the sloth bear. How are you? We were getting all prepared to come scoop you up when Cassel saw that there was an airplane coming out of the exact area we’d pinned you two down to. Using Cassel’s little finger skills, he’s tracked it down to a private runway that we believe the plane is headed to. We’ve just gotten to the runway but haven’t snuck in yet. Are you on the plane?”

“No, we jumped out. I can’t tell you where we are, but I’ll send you a pin of my location. I need you to stop the people on that plane. They have two targets they’re going to be tracking down and will likely come after us as well. Can you slow them down until we get there?”

“Wait, we’re going there?” I hear someone in the background say. I believe it was Ellis, but it’s a little hard to tell. What a foolish man. Who wouldn’t want to run toward the danger?

“Wait here a second,” Tavish says to Ellis before I hear him moving. “I wanted to step away so I could talk freely without this random guy who stumbled upon us overhearing. I’m confident he was out in this field burying bodies, but I’m going to see if he can drive us. The situation is that Arthur, the guy who hired me, wants to pick up Ellis’s family and have a big ol’ torture fest until one of them confesses something that I’m starting to think none of them know about. It sounds like the family was moved by protective services and had their names changed after Ellis’s father got involved in some shit back when Ellis was sixteen.”

“Is it weird I’m disappointed he’s not a serial killer? It was such a fun story,” I say.

“It’s a bit weird,” Jackson comments.

“It’s a bit weird Jackson thinks it’s weird,” Cassel says.

I give Cassel, who obviously gets me, a fist bump. Jackson must be jealous.

“Hey, buddy, can you drive us to town?” Tavish shouts.

The guy says something that I can’t hear.

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