Page 35 of The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance

I decide to interrupt while they’re in a good mood. “You guys seem like pretty cool people. What if you let me go and we pretend like I died or something and then Arthur can go find other people to make miserable? Please? Like super please?”

“You’re so sad and pitiful. It’s kind of cute,” Danielle says.

“You really should have just told Arthur what he wanted to know because there’s going to be nothing left of your mother or sister when I’m done with them,” Terry informs me.

“Well, I’m going to go take a nap back here while the rest of you assholes deal with this,” Danielle announces as she pops some earbuds in and heads through a door in the back to what looks like some kind of luggage area.

I mean, unless Miller decides to kill Eugene, I’m not quite sure what else to do while in this position. I guess if I were super selfless, I’d find some way to wreck the plane and take them all down with me to save my family. But then Arthur would just go find more assholes to further ruin my family’s lives.

For far too long, I sit with my mind racing and my stomach a ball of anxiety. Terry and a few of the guards I don’t know the names of are the only ones still alert. Miller has gone up front after claiming that he’s going to toss Eugene out if he’s in the same room with him any longer, closing the door after him, and Eugene is asleep beside me.

What do I do when I get there? It’s not like I even have skills to fall back on that don’t include wrangling dogs and cats.

I slowly glance over at Eugene and notice how close his gun is to me.

I… I could shoot them. Yes… yes, I could. I could. I could shoot them and then they’d be dead… and I would have been the one who killed them. And their deaths would be on my handsand haunt me for the rest of my life. And their families would be devastated and I would be amurderer.How the hell am I supposed to kill someone?

And if I panic like last time, would they shoot me right between the eyes the moment I pick up that gun? Or am I valuable enough they’d let me live?

The door to the back slides open and someone passes something to me. “Hold my vase,” Tavish says as he sets it into my hands before lunging at one of the unnamed guys. He stabs him hard in the chest with what looks like a plastic butter knife before grabbing the man’s head and driving his knee up to it, smashing him right in the face with a sickening nose-crushing sound.

“Fuck—” another guy shouts as Tavish grabs a fire extinguisher off the wall and rams it right into the side of the man’s head while I gawk and hold the vase. Terry whips out his gun as Tavish holds up the fire extinguisher. The bullet ricochets off the metal and flies off to who knows where. I just know that I’m still doing a fantastic job of vase holding as Tavish smashes the fire extinguisher into Terry’s face, ramming him through the open door into the bathroom. I hear athumpand then Tavish steps out to face off with the remaining men as he closes the door behind him.

And I’m still holding a vase.

Wait! I can help!

Right?

I look over at Eugene who has both eyes open wide now that he’s realized how fucked he is. When he sees me, his eyes snap closed and he pretends that he was having a really fucking good nap. I reach over and snag his gun before flinging it at Tavish.

He snatches the gun midair and shoots the men coming at him… which is whatwouldhave happened if I’d yelled, “Hey, Tavish” before flinging it.

What really happens is that the gun collides with the side of his face, making him reel back as one of the guys gets a punch in right to his gut since he was too busy recovering from the assault I’d inflicted on him.

I… kind of feel like maybe I should have just held the vase quietly.

“Motherfucker,” Tavish yells as I try to pretend that I wasn’t the one who caused him the most physical harm. The door to the bathroom starts to slide open and I scramble for my seat belt before rushing over to keep the bifold door from being able to open as I press my body against it.

There! I’m helping! I’m super helping!

A bullet embeds itself in the door inches from my shoulder.

Someone’s got a fucking gun, and I really don’t want to get shot.

Tavish dips down, scooping up the gun I’d tossed him, and shoots the man in the chest, which makes me grimace. Now everyone in the room is either down, pretending to sleep, or bashing against the bathroom door.

“There are still more, they’re in the front or back,” I say, not quite sure what his plan is now.

“Got it,” he responds as he grabs something that looks like some weird bondage thing.

“What’s that?” I ask as he starts pulling it on himself and settling some backpack-looking thing in place. “That’s just like… some sex thing, right? RIGHT? Tavish, please. That’s just a?—”

Terry slams against the door so hard I’m flung off it, but Tavish presses back against it as he grabs me and slaps some goggles and a helmet on me.

“Tavish, no, no, no. I’m not… no! Come on, Tavish, no!”

“Just pretend it’s a sex thing.”

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