Page 19 of The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance

“Ah, fun!” Cassel says.

Jackson looks surprised. “Which part?” he asks, as though he could be confused by any of this.

Cassel looks, rightfully, confused by Jackson’s confusion. “It sounds like Tavish is having fun and we shouldn’t intervene, right? You know… with the man who is a bit irritating and probably doesn’t deserve to be helped?”

I stand there for a moment as I think about this because… Cassel really is right. Jackson’s giving me a “We really need to help” look and Cassel’s giving me an “I think he’s going to do a fantastic job on his own” look.

“Cassel, I hear what you’re saying. The man is dreadful, almost as bad as Jackson’s mother.”

“Hey,” Jackson mutters.

“But… it kind of sounds fun to go to a private island and hunt some assholes down, does it not?”

Cassel gets a dreamy look on his face. “I’ll grab my swim trunks.”

“I don’t think that’s what he was implying,” Jackson says.

“Jackson doesn’t need any type of swimsuit. He likes to swim in the nude. He says he likes the way the water caresses his dangly bits.”

“Ew. Jackson, that’s a really weird thing to share with people,” Cassel says.

Jackson sighs. “Cassel, do you think I’ve ever actually said anything that even remotely sounds like that?”

“Ignore him, he’s just being salty,” I instruct. “So the issue is that when Tavish called, we bitched at each other so long they had time to jam his signal. Can you still find his phone?”

“I guess it depends on how they did it. Let me look. I have access to everyone’s phones in case something like this happens,” Cassel says proudly.

“Sometimes I wonder if he’s a stalker… and if he sees the secret pics I send you, Jackson.”

“I’m sorry, you act like you’ve been sending me dick pics,” Jackson says as he pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through the pictures of different knives I’d been interested in buying.

“I don’t want Cassel to know everything I have in case he turns out to be a double agent and I need the element of surprise,” I explain.

“Double agent, my ass,” Cassel says.

I pull out my phone since I feel like maybe others wouldn’t want to miss out.

Me: Hey, the three of us are going to a private island for some fun. You two want to join in?

Jeremy: Like… fun, fun? Like relaxing?

Me: Yeah, I would assume it’d be pretty relaxing.

Henry: This is suspicious as fuck.

Me: You guys will get to see Jackson naked. That should be reason enough to go.

Jackson: I will not be naked. And we are trying to help Tavish who got into some shit.

Jeremy: I thought you hated Tavish?

Me: I also didn’t like you at one point and look at us now. We’re as close as brothers. Closer, even. Just don’t tell Cassel how close.

Cassel: I will fuck you up. Go caress your fence some and let me think.

“Jackson, Cassel is bullying me,” I say.

“You likely deserved it.”

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