Page 138 of The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance

“What if you had to tase a shark?”

“We were going so fast my skin was being sucked off my bones; I don’t think we were going to come across any sharks.”

“That’s my boy,” he says, and with that, he just dives off.

Why didn’t I stay home? Why didn’t I take him up on that offer to sit tight in his house? Watch a movie. Kick back. Play with my new bird and sit with his dogs. Waylon would have gotten home later, and he seems pretty normal besides the whole… drug-making thing.

“Better get off, kid,” the captain says, and when Cassel gently guides me off the boat, I’m given no choice but to dive into the abyss.

Thankfully, swimming is something I know how to do, and I manage to reach the shore with little issue. I actually reach it faster than Leland does, which makes me question if I could just swim back to the boat and beg the guy to take me home. But as soon as I’m on shore, I hear Leland’s silenced gun go off and jump.

“I’m just taking down a camera. Cassel will need a minute to drop their whole system.”

“O-Okay,” I say.

“You look stressed.”

“No, definitely not stressed. Nooooo clue how you got that idea. Such a weird idea to thinkI’mstressed. What do I have to be stressed about?”

“Hey, last time you were on this island with the incompetent Tavish. This time, you’re on it with me. You’ll be super okay, mkay? Now get your tasers out and get your butt cheeks clenched. We’re going in quietly. Tavish sent me a text before his phone was taken to let me know that Arthur’s daughter is alive and on the island. Our job is to grab her.”

“She’s alive?” I ask in shock.

“Sure is. But enough of that. Follow my ass.”

“Okay.” I hurry after him as he moves along the trees. He’s heading in toward the mansion as I see men wandering around a garage. I assume that means we’d goawayfrom the men, butnope, he rushes right toward them. Then he motions toward the two men before he does some weird hand signal that I’m really hoping he’s not expecting me to understand. There’s like a flick… and is that the signal for a turtle? And why is he now drawing a line over his neck? And now it looks like he’s throwing some dice?

What the fuck doesanyof that mean?

I’m so confused that I don’t notice he’s stopping at the edge of the building until I’ve slammed into him, shoving him right out into the open.

I watch in horror as the two men turnrightaround and look him dead in the eyes.

“Who the fuck are?—”

Leland flicks something from his hand so damn fast that I don’t even see it until the guy is reeling back as a piece of what looks like candy hits the ground. “My motherfucking eyeball! My eye!”

“If you keep crying, you won’t have either eye.”

“You son of a?—”

The second guy lifts a gun, but before he even has it up in the air, Leland has shot it right out of his hand, busted the man in the face with the palm of his hand, and choked him out. The other guy still hasn’t recovered from his eye being fucked with and I’m just gaping at it all.

“Shhhh, now. There’s really no sense at all in hollering and throwing up a fuss, now is there?” Leland asks as he grabs the half-blinded guy in a choke hold while he casually reaches down to pick up the candy he’d blinded the man with. He dusts it off on his pants as the man thrashes and eventually succumbs.

Leland holds the candy out to me as he drops the unconscious man onto the ground. “Do you want it? It’s watermelon flavored. It’s like… I love watermelon but don’t lovewatermelon candy, you get me?” he asks as he whips some duct tape out of what must be a waterproof bag.

“N-No, I don’t want some candy that was just in some guy’s eyeball.”

“Suit yourself,” he says as he tucks the candy in the guy’s shirt pocket. “There, so he has something to remember me by.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to remember you!”

“Ellis, don’t be foolish. You haven’t truly lived until you’ve dreamed about me,” he says as he starts taping the two guys together.

“What… what kind of dream?” I ask.

Leland looks over at me and winks. “You know what kind of dream.”

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