Page 112 of The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance

“I mean… have you ever seen a sexier can of green beans?” I ask as I run a teasing finger down it while Tavish fixates on it.

“Fucking hell. I’ll buy all the groceries.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I won’t know how to cook a damn one of them, but I’ll buy them.”

“I mean… if you need someone to cook them for you… I happen to know someone who might.”

“Is it the same person getting frisky with the corn?”

I glance down at the corn on my chest. “Sure as fuck is.”

“What if I just want to eat you?”

“I don’t know… I’m rather hard to please.”

“You are! You want a table and food, and god, what are you going to want next? A shower curtain?”

“You don’t have a shower curtain?” I ask skeptically.

“I have the plastic part!”

“Buy a shower curtain!”

“What about this one with a sloth on it? Does that work? You like animals. Will that woo you?”

“Definitely.”

“It’s in my cart. I even threw some rugs in there.”

I can’t help but laugh as I push the cans back in place and swing the cupboard shut before walking over to him. I slide my hands around his waist and pull him toward me until I can feelhis cock pressed against mine. “That’s the sexiest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“Yeah? Wait until you hear that I even got a towel rack.”

“Oh? Your foreplay is making me hard,” I tease.

Tavish laughs as he presses a finger under my chin. “You know, most men find it sexy when I do badass stuff. I’ve never had anyone find it sexy when I do something domestic.”

“I’m confident everything you do is like one-quarter sexy and three-quarters terrifying. I’m in a constant state of terror slash interest piqued. It’s confusing.”

“The only thing I’m confused about is how you’re still wearing clothes? I thought being naked was the first rule of the estate of ecstasy.”

“I missed that,” I say as I flip the button on his pants free and yank the zipper down. Then I lean forward and instead of kissing him, I nip his lip. “Here’s my issue.”

“Oh no, you have an issue beyond the lack of furniture?”

“I’m averypicky man.”

“Are you?” he asks.

I push his pants and underwear down before stepping back to observe and admire.

“Okay. I hate to inform you of this, but if you want to have a serious talk, dropping my pants is not the way to go about it. I can’t remember a single thing you were talking about because I now wantyourpants off. And my god, you’re eyeing my dick.”

“Iameyeing your dick,” I say before looking at him and smiling. “It’s a nice dick.”

“Thank you.”

---