Page 66 of Shelter from the Storm

“Jesus Christ.” Theo grasped Gretchen’s trembling hands, holding them firmly in his. He recalled the panic in her eyes when he’d given her the yellow roses. He was never giving her roses again. Any other flower. But not roses.

“I didn’t try to leave again for a year. I was too afraid. The second time, I was even more stupid and desperate. I ran to my mother. She blamed me for the failing relationship, and Ivan forced me into their car. He drove me back to Briggs and offered some suggestions on ways to punish me. Briggs listened.”

Theo lifted her hands, kissing her palms softly, every word she spoke more painful than the next.

“My next attempt was a few weeks later. I stole money from Briggs’s wallet and managed to get all the way to the bus station before he came roaring up in his squad car, siren blaring and lights flashing. He said I was under arrest. Handcuffed me, read me my rights, and drove me back home, even as I begged the people at the bus station for help. I didn’t try again after that. Not for a couple of years. Not until September.”

He wanted to ask why she stopped trying, but he was afraid she might close down again.

Then she answered the unspoken question. “He cracked three of my ribs that last time. I was too afraid after that to…” She lifted one shoulder.

They fell silent for a few minutes, her hands still clasped tightly in his. He was never going to be able to let them go. Never.

With the passage of time, Gretchen seemed to pull herself together, her breathing easing, her eyes dry once more.

“I’m sorry,” she said again.

He shook his head, because those words were wrong coming from her. She didn’t have a damn thing to be sorry about.

Then he considered the way he’d found her earlier, balled up in panic and fear. “What do you think will happen if he shows up here?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never made it this far.”

Theo released one of her hands so that he could cup her cheek, force her to look at him, and really hear what he said next. “This isn’t like those other times. He can’t force you to go back. He?—”

“I know that,” she interjected. “My sane brain knows that. But with him, I’ve never managed sane. Just terror. I hate that I fell apart. I’m pissed off at myself that I’m still letting him have so much power over me.”

Theo wasn’t sure if she was aware of it, but with every word she spoke, her voice grew stronger.

“I will never go back to Harrisburg or him. Never. I was a coward to run the way I did, without facing him, but?—”

This time, he did the interrupting. “You were no coward, Gretchen. Jesus. He’s a dangerous man. He could have killed you.”

“You sound like Edith.” She gave him a small, sad smile. It was nowhere near the beautiful ones she was capable of, but it was a start.

“You were smart to escape. Leaving the way you did wasn’t cowardly, it was self-preservation, plain and simple. And now? Now, you have something here that you didn’t have in Harrisburg.”

“What’s that?”

He wanted to say “me,” but he realized she had so much more. “Support. A family. A whole lot of people who will have your back no matter what.”

He hated that his words had provoked more tears, until he realized these weren’t bad ones.

“I…” She swallowed hard, clearly moved. His heart cracked when she looked at him and asked, “I do?”

Theo kissed her forehead, then placed his against hers. “You do.”

They remained like that, both of them soaking in the much-needed closeness after the confessions of the past half hour or so.

“Thank you for telling me,” he said, when they finally separated.

“I was too ashamed before.”

He frowned. “Ashamed?”

“I was weak and stupid to stay with him as long as I did.”

Theo shook his head. “You weren’t stupid. Briggs is an abusive asshole. He preyed on a scared, lonely little girl and took advantage of her. Swooped in and made you believe he was the only one who could ever love you.”

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