Page 69 of Doing Life

“I heard you. You know, you might think about shaving your head. That way everything could grow in at the same time. Or maybe you could shave in, like, leopard spots or something.” He didn’t know if redheads could look like leopards, but anything was better than that. It was really unnerving. “I mean, I understand. When I first got out of the service, I had the freedom beard thing going on. I never did grow my hair out for any length of time, because it tickles my ears, and I don’t like that. But really? I think there might even be some infection going on there. And then if you get scar tissue, then that hair will never grow back and you’re always going to look like that. Also, the smell…”

“What the heck is wrong with you, man?”

“Me?” Sloan went wide-eyed. “Nothing, I’m just trying to help.”

He was going to have to call Lance and tell him he was going to be late, which really sucked. “You know, I was really looking forward to hanging out with my guy today. We’re going to listen to this audiobook and have pizza.”

“Why do you keep talking?” Mr. Piebald and Tweaky screamed. “Do you have a death wish?”

Oh, he knew the answer to that question. “I guarantee you, I most certainly do not. I have been put in those situations multiple times, and I have discovered that in every instance, living is the option I choose. It’s not a moral choice, just a personal one. I’m not criticizing your particular ideal of obviously having a death wish.”

Wait, was that too far? That might have been a step too far. Nah, it wasn’t too much.

“I want you to open the damn ATM.”

“I can’t.” He wasn’t the fucking Hulk.

“You’re a cop.”

“Very good observation, but, last time I checked, we didn’t come with magical ATM police keys, although that would be cool, and I would be all over that. They are not standard issue.”

The gun wavered as the guy got even angrier.Shit. Come on, guys, he thought.Bring on the sirens…

“Open the goddamn ATM.”

“Nope.” Sloan stared the guy down, going for lizard brain, for intimidation. He still had his own sidearm held loosely down at his side, and he didn’t think the man had even noticed.

He was smart enough not to believe the son of bitch was harmless, that was for sure, but he knew without a doubt he was a better shot. So he would wait this out. When the other deputies arrived, this shit was going to hit the fan, and Sloan knew it.

Time to try to improve his position. He took a step toward the counter, tossing the pack of Chomps sticks next to the cash register.

“Stop it! Stop moving!”

“I just didn’t want to hold those anymore. Reallydisappointing, you know? Those Chomps are kind of mushy. Slim Jims have a snap.” The glare from the door was at his back now,

“Why are you here?”

“Slim Jims and peanuts.”

The sirens were getting closer.

“Put down the gun and get on the floor. You don’t want to play with me, and I sure as shit don’t want to play with you.”

“I’m not playing. I need money! I need it now. Give me your wallet.”

Sloan sighed, raising his gun. “I am not going to be doing that. Put the gun down, and we both get out of this alive. Keep fucking around, and you’ll find out that I’m okay if I’m the only one who does.”

The guy put his hands against his head, clunking it with the gun. “Ahhhh! Why couldn’t you just pay cash and leave!”

“That’s not my job. My job is to arrest guys like you and keep people like Leah safe.”

“No! No, you have to go away.” That gun came back down, the hand holding it shaking like a leaf. Jesus.

Sloan shifted a little more, knowing that now the kid could only just see him silhouetted in a ray of light. He would be having a tough time seeing Sloan’s gun…

But he could see everything with perfect clarity.

Two more cruisers squealed into the parking lot, rocking on their springs, and the kid looked past him, distracted.

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