Page 26 of Doing Life

“What?” Brick sounded utterly shocked, his voice ringing through the coffee shop. “You want me to do what?”

“Shut up! Jesus, your voice carries. I want you to tell me how to hook Dan and Sloan up.” Lance didn’t think this was really difficult. Why did Brick?

“Listen to me. I’ll use little words so you can understand. Why do you want to hook your lover up with our house mother? I thought you liked him. I liked you liked both of them.”

“I do. That’s part of the point, isn’t it?”

“Dude. This is creepy. I don’t understand.” Brick’s voice was pure shock.

Lance sighed, because he got that. “I don’t know that I do either, I mean, Sloan is…”

He didn’t know how to explain it. He’d been seeing Sloan three times a week, just like clockwork. For three weeks.

They had food. They talked. They reminisced. It was sort of like therapy, but with more beer. He held Sloan’s arm as they walked somewhere. Sloan told him about his day. He toldSloan about his. They both loved on Abby. They listened to a couple of TV shows and a couple of movies. It wasn’t as if they could play cards.

Lance hadn’t figured Braille out yet. He wasn’t sure he was smart enough to do that. In fact, he was pretty sure he wasn’t smart enough to do that.

But he wasn’t sure there was any chemistry anymore.

Mostly, he didn’t think he had anything to create chemistry with.

There was nothing wrong with his dick in theory; he just hadn’t done anything with it. Like at all, and when the therapist asked him, he said he was fine because no way was he telling a girl that he couldn’t…Well, he didn’t… didn’t want to. Except he wanted to want to.

But that didn’t matter.

Sloan was healthy. Sloan could get it up. So the son of a bitch needed someone who could get it up too. Dan was healthy; Sloan was healthy. They both drank beer. They were both queer. They could be happy together.

Then they could all be friends.

Even if that thought made him want to kick himself in his own balls, which he was totally incapable of doing, especially with that one leg.

“You are a psychopath. I just think you should know I’m not helping you hook anybody up with anybody else, especially not the guy that you’re inlovewith and the house mother. So just don’t ask again. You’re just…what is wrong with you?” Brick stopped short. “I mean, you know, barring the obvious.”

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me is…” He dropped his voice, praying no one was listening. “I don’t have any…desire anymore, and it it’s fucked up because I want to.”

There was a long silence, then a “Dude.” Brick sounded as if he’d had a damn epiphany. “It takes a minute. That’s it. Ittook me a couple of years. For sure. You wanna talk about having issues? I got one hand. It’s not…It’s the hand I lost; it’s the hand I used to jack off. This is not a situation that you just change. You wanna talk about frustrated?”

“Oh my God. Oh shit.” Lance shook his head and thought about that. That had to suck. Like one hundred percent.

“Right?” Brick snorted. “It damn near killed me, the first time I wanted to jack off, reached down for my cock and nothing happened.”

He shook his head. “That is fucked up.”

“No shit. It is, but things work themselves out. They do.”

Lance nodded. Okay, he got it. He needed to get his head out of his goddamn ass.

“Maybe… Do you ever think it’s because you’ve called him off-limits?” Brick said it slowly, like he was mulling it over. “I mean, you’ve decided you’re not good enough for him anymore. I can tell. So, since you’ve convinced yourself you can’t, combined with your trauma, it’s cock-blocking you.”

“Brick, you just said cock-blocking.” He had to laugh at that, even if it heated his cheeks and made him hope no one else was listening. He looked around instinctively, even if he couldn’t see anything.

“Dude, it’s okay. No one is paying us any attention.” Brick sipped his coffee, the sound oddly specific. “But think about that hard, huh? You might find that as you let go of that idea your junk takes an interest again.”

“Do you think so?” God, he wanted that to be true.

“I do. Don’t toss Sloan away because you need time. He seems like a patient guy.”

He barked out a laugh. “Oh, fuck, yes. He followed me around for year, making passes. I was oblivious at first, then worried, then into it as hell.”

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