Page 17 of Doing Life

Will clicked his teeth. “Seriously. Everybody. Every single fucking person. Old ladies come in, and they’ve had a knee replacement. They come in, they work, they do their therapy, and all of a sudden they’re sobbing over their first boyfriend that they lost when they were in high school sixty years ago. You got way bigger trauma to cope with. It’s gonna be a way worse body thing. Way bigger mindthing. I can’t imagine the amount of scars your soul is hiding.”

“Me either.” He wasn’t sure his soul hadn’t been blown to bits, torn asunder, leaving a hole where his spirit has been.

“Okay, buddy. You got this. You need help getting out of the shower?”

God no. He’d been enough of a titty baby as it was. “No, no, I still need to wash my hair and all.”

“All right, you do that. I’ll be out here.” Will chuckled softly. “I’m not looking, just want to be here in case you need me. Abby’s a trouper, you know?”

“She’s my best friend. That’s fucking sad, huh?”

“Are you kidding? That’s fucking amazing.” He could hear the raw emotion in Will’s voice. “Nothing loves as good as a dog. Man, a dog is the best. They love you forever.”

He couldn’t deal with whatever loss he heard out of Will. In a few minutes, sure, but not yet. He had to put his own shit back together before he could be anything for anyone else. “Right. Right on. Okay, let me get clean.”

Let him remember how to breathe. Maybe let his cheeks stop burning. He’d take that.

He grabbed the shampoo and washed, forcing himself to remember that Will was a good man, that his shame here wouldn’t go any further. He was getting better. He was figuring it out.

He was going to have to call Sloan. Ask him how he was. He’d been selfish long enough. Whatever he thought of Sloan showing up down here, he needed to know that his… his whatever. Lover? Was whole. Healthy.

They wouldn’t let him be a cop if he wasn’t physically able, and Lance knew it, but that meant dick all.

He took a deep breath. Then another. Then he turned back into the shower, murmuring to Abby when she whined.

“It’s okay, girl. I’m okay. I gotta wash my hair.” He rinsedoff, then ran one hand along the wall, feeling his way so he could put the shampoo bottle back where it belonged.

Fuck, he hated this shit.

As soon as he was dressed, Will was right there, talking away and not saying much of anything. It was weirdly comforting.

He walked out with Abby, meeting Dan the van man out in the lobby.

“Hey, man. You all set?”

“I am.” He was going to have to be, he thought. He was shaken as fuck.

“Do you mind a rain check for lunch, man?” Will asked. “I’m thinking about a nap.”

“I like naps.”

He had a feeling some kind of look passed between Will and Dan, because not much else was said, Dan walking him out to the van.

They didn’t chat, and as soon as they got back to the house, he headed to his room, not wanting to be around the other guys.

Once the door was closed and locked, he told his phone to text Sloan.

Can I call tonight?

The answer came back fast.

of course. ideally I get off at 6. I’ll text if I’m still on a call out

Kk

He swallowed hard. How was he supposed to wait until six to say what he had to say? God. He was a mess.

So he laid down on his bed and went to sleep for a bit.Woke up hungry. Wolfed down a sandwich. Listened to an audiobook.

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