Page 38 of High Note

“Whoa. Whoa, breathe.” Skyla reached over, sat her hand on Kirsten’s, and then pulled away as if she was scared she’d be seen. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to open a can of worms. I was being silly.”

“Are you gonna get in trouble?” Kristen asked. It just occurred to her it maybe sitting in a public restaurant with the broad who had rainbow-colored hair, piercings, and was kind of the equivalent of butch-on-a-stick might be dangerous to her career.

Kristen looked down at her shirt. Yep, she was even wearing plaid. She was the walking billboard for women loving women.

Skyla blinked at her like she’d grown a new head. “What do you mean trouble?”

“Well… I am queer as a three-dollar bill, you know. Not inconspicuous either.” And Kirsten couldn’t say that wasn’t how it was going to be, because she’d left that closet behind a long time ago and wasn’t interested in getting back in.

“Nobody knows who I am right now,” Skyla said, her cheeks going pink. “And I have a bit of a reputation for being a bad girl.” She paused and rolled her shoulders like she was uncomfortable. “I mean the record label would have a fit if I came out of the closet. Hell, I’m not even sure which closet I’d be coming out of, to be honest. I mean I was married.”

“No shit?” Interesting. “To a man? Like an actual human man?” Kristen wasn’t above being a little bit of a bitch herself.

Skyla cracked up. “Okay, smart ass. Yeah, an actual human man. I’m surprised you didn’t hear about it—we were supposedto be the next Tim and Faith. I had the whole thing, a secret island wedding that all the press knew about and everything.”

“Yeah? I told you, I follow the music, and country music isn’t where I usually land.” She leaned in, teasing. “Don’t worry. I knew who you were.”

“Thank God for small favors.” Skyla’s swat didn’t even sting. “It didn’t last long. Seriously, not even six months.”

“Man, that’s quick. What happened, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“I—he wanted some things that I didn’t, and I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about future stuff.”

“What do you mean?” Kristen couldn’t even imagine. Future stuff? Like what? Getting dogs together?

“Kids, honey. I’m not interested in having babies, and that was a deal-breaker. I mean, I love my dogs. I love the cats. I love my music. But I’ve never wanted to be a mom. Is that weird?”

“Well, not to me.” Kristen let out a soft laugh. “I’m really not maternal. I mean, I suppose I’m a cat mom. That’s enough for me, but babies? Not on my radar.”

Hell, she couldn’t remember ever even playing with dolls. She’d never wanted to be that kind of caretaker. She loved her cats, but really they just allowed her to be a grouch.

If she needed to, she could come home and sit and grumble, and the cats? They cared not.

“Well, you can see how it’s expected when a pair of country music singers get married. There will be babies in short order, and when that didn’t happen…and it wasn’t ever going to happen.” Skyla kept her eyes down on the white tablecloth. She played with the fork, making it chatter against the cloth. “I suppose I should have told him I was on the pill. That was kind of a shock.”

Dude. That was borderline hardass. “Probably not as much of a shock as when he found out you were into pussy…”

That earned her a sound that was vaguely like a duck getting stepped on.

“Yeah, that was also a bit of a problem…”

“I imagine it was.”

Kirsten spent a second trying to imagine what that had to be like. Constantly having to act like somebody you weren’t. Constantly having to live up to someone else’s expectations and knowing that a lot of people would be screwed if you didn’t.

It actually kind of sounded like hell.

“So what do you do about it?”

“I don’t know what you mean. It’s my job.” Skyla glanced down, then looked up at her with a hint of a frown crossing her face. “It’s everything I ever wanted. And I don’t feel like I can bitch because now I have it, and there’s the band that’s counting on me, and my manager’s counting on me, and the label is counting on me. And most importantly the fans are counting on me, so I do what I have to.”

“Even getting married?” Damn it, she shouldn’t have said that. That was mean, but it was true too in a weird sort of way. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of girls who ended up getting married because they didn’t have a choice. And I’m not talking about getting pregnant. I’m talking about literally not having another choice. They didn’t know that they could get out of their small town. They didn’t know they could just walk away. They didn’t know that there was—” She opened up her arms to kind of envelope this entire space that she was so lucky to have found. “—this. That’s why I said what I said about Summit Springs. I don’t have to be scared. I don’t have to be shy. I don’t have to pretend and give up things for that. I’ll never be famous. I’ll never have a record label, but I get to be who I am. I guess everybody makes their choices. I’m not here to criticize yours.”

“Thanks.” Skyla offered her the saddest little smile. “You know, I actually feel like you kind of get me. Like you’re notjudging me for being sad that I can’t have a hometown where I can just be myself.”

Shit, she was more judging the fact that… Kirsten stopped herself short. You know what? No, she wasn’t gonna judge. This wasn’t her life. Not her circus. Not even marginally her monkeys. This was a weird little moment outside of time, and she was just going to enjoy it. She was not going to get in this beautiful woman’s way. She was just here to have fun, and so was Skyla.

“So how many days a week do you have to be in the studio? Is there time for you to go play?” She winked, letting herself flirt again, letting herself just be open to this. “And I don’t mean the guitar…”

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