Page 110 of Refraction

“Yes, sir.” He put Calvin down with a kiss, then stripped off his shirt and wiped the paint off his hands with it. “Lord have mercy, the sun feels good.”

“The sun is not my friend for the next ten days. I better put on some sunscreen too. I’m wondering if I should just start going around naked like you do. No tan lines.” Calvin grinned at him. “Oh, and watch the marks, lover.”

“I know. Bummer.” He winked over, letting Calvin see that he got it, that he heard. “Would you let me paint you?”

“Oh.” Calvin’s expression was suddenly a little pained. “Um…. Tucker, I’m just not feeling very… confident right now. You know? I need to get back to work first. But after… I mean, I think we could talk about it.”

“Huh?” He frowned over. What had he said wrong? “Oh. Oh, no. I mean not of you, on you. Like, just to play. I just… you know. You paint on you. I could play too.”

“Oh!” The little cloud lifted off Calvin’s forehead. “Oh, sure. Yes. That would be fun! Let’s do that.”

“I haven’t, you know. Not since you asked. I can’t promise I never will, because it happens. It just pours out of me, and I won’t lie, but I’ve tried really hard.” He didn’t understand, but it was important to Calvin, so he tried.

“At all? But you said….” Calvin sighed. “It doesn’t matter. We both said stupid shit. That doesn’t matter. It’s all different now. You could if you wanted to, I just need to… I’m worried about this shoot, Tucker. I need it to go well. For me, you know? And then I think maybe we could try it.”

“I said I couldn’t promise. I don’t ever want to lie to you. And you look amazing. Healthy. Happy. I know you’ll worry, but I think you make ugly underwear look nice.” He thought Calvin was perfect, but he was biased.

He liked the smile he got much better than that look Calvin got when something was hard. “I won’t lie to you either. I’m curious now what you see that the camera can’t. You don’t need me to be perfect, and that’s okay with me. So until then, you can scribble on me all you like.”

“Cool! Burgers?”

Calvin would love it—the tickle, the caress. It was like his beard, but focused. Calvin would melt.

“On it. Meet you at the grill.”

“Perfect.” He headed to the grill, turned on the propane, and got it going before hopping into the water.

* * *

The burgerswere yummy.Tucker’s looked better than his, of course, with the great big bun and all the fixings on it, but he was happy with his and a whole bunch of veggies Tucker had grilled to go with it.

They followed that with a short swim, and now he was happily wrapped up in a towel, watching the sunset. There was such a great view from the pool. He’d spent a long while watching Tucker swim and thinking about Alice and Donnie. Family could be so complicated. Alice obviously had her issues, and nobody he’d ever met was more layered than Tucker. Sometimes he had to take a second to make sure he was hearing what Tucker was really trying to say.

Like what Tucker had said earlier, about the demons seeming real. He hadn’t understood until today how much what that might mean had worried his lover. And he had a feeling it wasn’t going to be the last he heard about it. That was just Tucker—equally bewildering and beautiful.

Tucker was whistling, fingers moving over his skin, eyes on the sky. That panic was gone, melted away, and somewhere in that amazing brain, Tucker was making art.

“It’s beautiful, that sunset. All the color and the way it can just wash over everything because nothing is in its way, you know? Nothing making shadows or reflecting the light.” New York sunsets were cool too; the bright sun would reflect off the glass in the windows of the tallest buildings, and it would be so dark in their shadows. It was blinding sometimes. Beautiful, just so different.

“Have you seen the sunset up in Taos? Or on the beach? I love how different they all are depending on where you are. I love that it’s all the same too. The same sun.”

“Right? So cool.” And just like that, the sun sank and everything went gray for a minute as night started to win. “What do you want to paint on me?”

“I just want to play. Maybe mountains here.” Tucker stroked his abs. “Or birds here.” The touch to his inner thigh made him gasp. “A forest of flowers blooming and fireworks.”

“Your hands.” He caught one up and kissed it, knuckles first, the center of the palm, the inside of Tucker’s wrist. “You want to? Right now?”

“I do. You’ll like it.” The confident tone was almost as good as the smile.

“I like it already.” He stood up and curled himself into Tucker’s side, loving how they just fit together all the time.

“You will. Come to the loft.” Tucker was bouncing, the joy infectious.

He let Tucker lead him by the hand, practically jogging alongside those longer, stronger legs. They were both a little giddy by the time they reached the barn. He was laughing as he headed for the ladder to the loft. “You need help with anything, tiger?”

“No. No, get naked for me and comfortable in the loft. I’ll grab the brushes and the body paints, find the right music.” Tucker kissed him hard. “We can play.”

“Get naked.” Calvin snorted. He was in the world’s tiniest bathing suit. Naked was one wiggle away.

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