Page 29 of Austen Persuaded

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

“Don’t hyperventilate, girl,” Rafael said in a soothing tone. “He had a bike, so he probably isn’t staying anywhere near here but just happened to be on a long bike ride. But who knows. I didn’t talk to him, so I don’t know where he’s staying.”

“Or why he’s in town?”

“No, I don’t know that either.” Rafael paused. “I mean, I’m sure we could find out, if you want to do a little digging—”

“No!” I burst out, eyes wide. I took in a steadying breath and tried to compose myself. “I mean, this is … it’s not a big deal. Not worth the effort.”

“Totally not a big deal,” Rafael said as he turned to Rainn, and they shared a chuckle.

I crossed my arms over my chest and sulked for a few minutes, picking at what was left of my buttery toast. Finally, I asked quietly, “Did he see you, Raf?”

“Doubtful. But it doesn’t matter anyway, right?” Rafael smirked, while Rainn openly laughed.

“Since when is it OK to laugh about your dear friend’s misfortunes?”

“Is it a misfortune? I thought it was no big deal,” Rafael said, not even trying to hide a smirk.

“I’d say it’s a fortune. Your true love’s back in town, Annie!” Rainn said with a wide grin.

“He’s—you don’t understand, Rainn.” I shook my head. “There’s a lot more to the story. I sort of … broke his heart. And my own, in the process. Our relationship was never going to work. We just—we wanted different things, and the timing was bad. Ibrokehim. Trust me, he’d never in a million years want anything to do withme now. I know this because I’ve heardnothingfrom him in four years. Not a single message.”

As they watched me, I was dangerously on the verge of tears. How did this happen? I’d wanted to keep this conversation quick and light. Surface level. I tossed my hair back and shrugged for effect. “And that’s the way I want it. It’s over, and it’s for the best.”

“Right,” Rafael said, holding out the vowel in the word. He dabbed at his mouth with his napkin and then sat back. “I don’t think I can eat another bite.”

“Me neither,” Rainn agreed.

“I was going to ask if either of you wanted the rest of my chocolate chip muffin. I don’t want to burst the seams of this dress I squeezed into tonight,” I said wryly.

When they both grabbed for the muffin at the same time, I giggled. “You can share, boys.”

As they devoured the remains of my giant muffin, Rafael’s eyes met mine again. “Do you know what Kylan is doing now? Career-wise, I mean?”

My heart skipped a beat.

So we’re still doing this, talking about him.

I can handle this. Not a big deal.

“He’s actually pretty successful in the publishing industry, I think.” I lied. I didn’t think this; Iknewhe was successful, against the odds. He’d had a difficult upbringing in a low-income neighborhood. It was one of my mother’s many objections to the idea of my dating Kylan. “I’m not sure exactly what he does,” I said truthfully. I had stuck to Instagram only, steadfastly avoiding any other social media or even Googling, so I didn’t know exactly what he did for a living. But it was clear from his photos that he’d made it big, and he was often tagged in photos with publishing executives or even occasionally celebrities.

“You don’t want to know?” Rainn asked as he wiped chocolate off his lips. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to find out. Even if he’s the private type on social media, I could find some info foryou.”

I shook my head rapidly. “Please don’t. I find …” I grasped for the right words. How could I explain that I needed to keep the distance? It was how I’d survived. “I find comfort in not knowing.”

“I can see that,” Rafael said, looking thoughtful. “If Joel ever ghosted me—”

“But he wouldn’t,” I said firmly. “Because you guys are in love. He’s theone, Raf.” Then, with some difficulty, I added hoarsely, “Kylan, he … he wasn’t the one. He was just a guy I dated and then dumped. Among many others.” I offered a wry smile.

“He was a guy youloved, Annie. Maybe the only guy you’ve loved? And Viviana convinced you to give him up.”

I stared at my best friend, my eyebrows raised. “Well, she wasn’t the only one who disapproved.” Rafael had never told me explicitly not to follow Kylan to New York to pursue his dreams, but I knew he’d agreed with Viviana on that.

With his brows furrowed, he put his napkin over his plate. “I’ll leave you alone about Kylan for now. But this may not be the end of the conversation, Annie.”

“Yeah, I mean, you could bump into him any day,” Rainn said, and then he palmed his forehead. “Oh, crap, speaking of bumping into someone, I forgot to mention I saw Viv today, at the race. We chatted for a bit.”

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