Page 12 of Austen Persuaded

How did I not see it? Weak, weak, weak.

“You, weak?” Rafael laughed. “She’s still high on cold meds.”

“You guys!” I sat up, brushing rumpled hair out of my eyes. “I told him Ilovedhim. The night after he tried to cheat on me. Or—” My eyes widened. “Oh no, Raf, what if Viv wasn’t the only one?”

Rafael’s features were filled with sympathy. Pity, really.

“What am I saying?” I shook my head. “Of course she wasn’t the only one. Not with a guy like that. What an idiot I am. How could I … I didn’t see the signs. How did I not see it? I never see it coming. I mean, maybe sometimes there are hints and I just, like, don’t care because I’m having fun. But I really didn’t see any hints. Were there hints of him being a jackass player?” I looked between the two men, my eyes vulnerable and full of unshed tears.

They looked at each other.

Rainn shrugged. “I thought he seemed like a nice guy, honestly. I didn’t spend a ton of time with him though.”

Rafael didn’t speak at first. “He did seem like a nice guy. There was …” he trailed off, looking at the ceiling thoughtfully. “There was something about him that always seemed a bit off to me. Maybe a bit false. Or, I don’t know. I have no idea how to put it into words, so I guess that’s why I didn’t. I thought, I hoped, I was wrong.” He frowned.

I stared into his dark brown eyes before nodding. Rafael occasionally had a vague sixth sense about a person, and he couldn’t explain it. He wasalwaysright though, about these impressions. That’s why I’d immediately believed him when he told me that Viviana was likely right about Brandon. Even though, with every fiber of my being, I hadn’t wanted to believe it. I’d wanted to resist the truth—almost like I’d rather hate my good friend than lose a love so new, so promising, so full of hope. Was I that desperate?

No, I’m Annie York, dammit. Men always flock to me, more than I know what to do with. The opposite of desperate.

And yet …

“So, violence is out,” Rafael said, interrupting my thoughts. “How are we going to get back at him?” He and Rainn looked at me eagerly.

I shook my head slowly. “Not necessary. I think I made some wrong assumptions. That we were exclusive. That he was interested in anything serious. That’s on me.”

“Annie, please tell me you’re being ironic.”

“I’m not.”

“Annie! You can’t possibly think—”

“Don’t give me some stupid spiel about how I deserve better and blah blah. I’ve heard it all before, many times. Usually from Viv. Maybe she was right about Brandon but wrong about me.”

Rainn scratched his head. “That’s …”

“Total B.S.,” Rafael said, clenching his jaw.

I crossed my arms. “Look, I appreciate everything you guys have done for me, but I know myself and I can take responsibility for my own role in disasters like this. I can … put on my big-girl pants.”

There was a moment of silence before Rafael said quietly, “You’ve been doing that far too long.”

“Excuse me?”

His eyes flashed, but his voice was barely audible. “You heard me.”

“What do you mean?” I shook my head. “Never mind. Case closed. This is—”

Rafael took a deep breath. “Jacqueline has been telling you to put on your big-girl pants since long before you were a big girl. You never had a chance to make mistakes, to have someone take care of you … everything was always your responsibility,alwaysyour fault. Enough! We need to get her toxic, soul-sucking voice out of your head once and for all!” By the time he’d finished, he was shouting.

My breath caught as I reared back. Rafael and I had, of course, talked about Mom many times in the many years I’d known him, but he’d never erupted like this before.He’s right, a voice inside whispered, faintly.

“I hope I never have to meet this woman,” Rainn said menacingly. “Actually, she’d better hope thatshenever has to meetme.”

After a beat, we all dissolved into slightly pained laughter. Despite Rainn’s tough talk and muscular frame, he was a softie through and through. Born and raised in the South, he still had his Southern manners too, though he’d mostly left the accent behind.

I laughed until my sides ached, until I forgot what I was laughing about, until we all did, probably, until we forgot whether the tears streaming down our faces were tears of joy or sadness. Likely both.

“You guys, oh my gosh, what was that?” I asked between gasping breaths and giggles. Finally after some deliberately slow breaths, I steeled myself.

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