Page 35 of Meet Me on Christmas Eve

I wanted to ask what he was going to say, but I was already so close to tears. Angry, frustrated tears, I think, but either way, I couldn’t show him that. After a long pause, I nodded slowly, trying to keep my face neutral. “You—you’re right. Pointless.”

“It always was, wasn’t it?”

I turn around, shielding my face. He couldn’t see me right now. My eyes were filling with salty tears, and I knew I couldn’t stop them. “Yes,” I said, hoping my voice was clear and confident.

Exactly the opposite of how I felt.

A painful silence ensued.

Just go, I wanted to say. I can’t cry in front of him. I feared my body might be trembling, despite my best efforts.

I heard a footstep, and I thought for a moment he took a step closer, behind me. I must have imagined it though. Before I could blink, I heard his footsteps and then the door, opening and then closed firmly. Not slammed, but … final.

I collapsed into the chair, letting out the breath I’d held, the feelings I’d held in, everything I couldn’t hold back anymore.

The strange thing was, it wasn’t terrible. It was like … a release. Painful, yet my brain was quiet for once. I somehow knew … I needed this. Just this once. I could feel, and it would be OK. I would—

Clomp, clomp.

Oh, shit. I froze. Someone was walking in the hallway outside. Had he come back?

He can’t see me like this. No one can.

Oh my god, oh my god. I have to go lock the door.

But by the time I’d dashed for the door, I didn’t hear the footsteps anymore.

I was alone.

I leaned my head against the door for a moment before standing and taking a deep breath in.

I was alone.

I was always alone.

And that was for the best. It always had been.

I wiped another tear as I turned to gather my things from the room.

Chapter 11

Hazel booped me on the nose, and I scowled. “A good dose of holiday decoration is what you need, Mari.” She giggled then. “Words I never thought I’d utter to my formerly holiday-hating BFF.”

I tried to smile. Failed, utterly.

“Aww, you really don’t think you can win him over?” She put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed briefly before taking some more of the red string lights I was unraveling. We’d just started decorating the ballroom for the annual staff holiday party tonight. I normally delegated this to the other leadership, but Hazel convinced me we should help out.

I sighed. “Let’s just say it’s a lost cause.”

She put her hands on her hips, which showed off her sparkly red ugly Christmas sweater dress. “Is he that much of a jerk? Or … did he do something to you?”

“No, not really,” I said, avoiding her eyes. “I just can’t get along with him.”

Her eyes widened. “The Mariana charm doesn’t work on him?”

“Haha, very funny.” I rolled my eyes as I held out the last of this string of lights.

She gave me a thoughtful look before taking them. “You think I was joking?”

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