Page 16 of Red Flags Only

He bought me my bike.

He bought me mygreenhouse.

Goosebumps rise on the back of my neck, and I shiver.

I have to flee the country. I have no other choice.

My phone rings, and I jolt, then lurch off my couch to retrieve it from my purse by the door. It takes me a minuteto locate it in the depths of the mountain of shopping bags, but I do, clicking answer after I see it’s my favorite cousin, Elodie. “Do you want to buy the nursery?” I ask as a greeting, climbing through the bags to make it back to my couch. I sit, eying my Jupiter letter like it’s a bomb. It might as well be.

“Um,” Elodie says, delayed. “Yes? Sure?”

“Perfect!” I declare. “You can mail the check to-” Where do I want to live? “Antarctica!”

“Antarctica?” she asks.

I nod. “Yes. Antarctica. Where I will be living, effective immediately.”

“Right, yes, of course,” she hums. “Obviously. Is there, you know, any particular reason for this totally chill course of action?”

“You know my pen pal?” I wince.

“No?” she replies.

I groan. “Okay, well, I have this pen pal. Jupiter. And we’ve been pen pals since elementary school? And we’re best friends. I tell Jupiter everything.Everything.”

“Jupiter… Like Jupiter Rogue?” she asks. “You’re best friends with Jupiter Rogue?”

“You know that Jove’s name is Jupiter?” I gasp. “How do you know that?”

“I ran into the guy one time when I was visiting you,” she replies. “He was slashing some dude’s tires next to my car at the gas station. The guy – Ted? I think was his name – came out and started yelling at me. Went on and on about howJove Rogue gets away with murder in this town!andThings will only change if we make them!It would’ve been inspirational, probably, except he kept getting spittle on me as he was ranting. Totally gross.” She pauses to gag, then. “Also, Jove is a nickname for Jupiter, isn’t it? That’s common sense, I fear, dear cousin.”

“Common sense foryou, maybe. I thought Jupiter was a girl!” I groan, ignoring any and all things to do with Ted. Who cares about freaking Ted? “I’ve told himeverything, El. Ev-ery-thing.” I shudder. “I just found out thatsheis actuallyheand thatheis Jove Rogue.” You know, on second thought… “Antarctica might not be far enough.”

Elodie laughs. Out loud. To my face, through the phone. “What’s wrong with being friends with Jove? He was good on the eyes.”

He is definitely good on the eyes. However…

“You know what else he’s good at? Felonies and misdemeanors.”

“I heard he only does that sort of stuff to people who are mean to his brother,” she responds, thoroughly unbothered.

And she’s right, but. “My best friend is a felon!”

She laughs in the face of my misery. Again. Why is she my favorite cousin? “I think they’re only felons if they actually get tried and convicted. As far as I know, Jove’s never been to jail, right?”

“I do not think you are seeing my point,” I accuse.

“I’m totally not. If you want to sell me the nursery, though, I’m on board. That place is a plant lover’s dream come true. It might be a little difficult to transfer to my apartment, though. Do you know any good movers? Maybe the ones you’re using to ship your stuff to the South Pole?”

I have never been so offended in my life.

“You can’tmovethe greenhouse! Are you insane? The magic of it is tied completely into the location of it. You can’t plop it down just anywhere and call it a fairy wonderland!”

“Pity,” she hums. “I guess you’ll just have to keep it, then. Could you spare a pothos or two, though? I have a bit of space on my bookshelf that I think would be just perfectfor a wee plant babe.”

I huff. “Of course. I’ll have it delivered to you next week.”

She chirps her thanks, then, “I wouldn’t worry too much about the Jupiter thing. Sure, he’s not agirl, but he’s a good boy. At heart. Probably.”

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