Page 34 of Red Flags Only

I am most definitely not ready. For what, though, I do not know.

“Am I supposed to be ready?” I ask, returning his inspection.

He’s dressed… well, how he normally does, but cleaner. Sharper. Crisper. Not that he’s usually dirty, exactly, but his jeans are free of holes, his shirt is one of his less worn-in ones, and his boots look like they’ve been cleaned sometime this century. I think he might even have gel in his hair, slicking back the white streak in a way that is…

Well, let’s just not think about that.

“You look nice,” I tell him, wincing. “Am I supposed to look nice?”

“You always look nice,” he replies, no hesitation. “You are supposed to be dirt-free, though. I think. I’ve never been on a date before, so possibly I’m wrong.”

“Date?” I squeak. “Right now?”

“Yes?” he asks. “It’s Friday, right?”

“Today is Friday,” I confirm. “But I don’t remember us making plans. Did you mention it in a letter? Because I haven’t gotten your letter yet.”

He shakes his head. “You agreed to help me research,” he says.

I nod. “Correct.”

“And dates are research.”

Mmhm. “Correct again.”

“And Fridays are date nights.”

Ah. “We didn’t discuss Fridays as date nights,” I tell him.

“We had to discuss it?” he asks.

I blink. “Yes, Jove, generally two people discuss whendate night will be when they’re dating, fake or not.”

“But… Fridays are date nights,” he repeats, somehow managing to look adorably confused despite the height and breadth of him.

“I know we agreed to research,” I say. “But I’m not researching the miscommunication trope with you. I fear we’ve done enough of that. We’re all researched up.”

“We’re not doing the miscommunication trope,” he says. “Because everyone knows that Fridays are date nights. It’s in all of the movies and books and various other media sources. Your lack of basic knowledge does not a miscommunication trope make. Besides, we’re doing the fake dating trope with very clear communication.” He reaches behind him and pulls a thick wad of paper out of his back pocket, then holds it out to me. “Here,” he offers. “See? Communication. Clear.”

I wipe my dirty hands on my dress before taking the packet of paper from him, unfolding it to revealLyra and Jove’s Ultimate Dating Research Contractin bold, italicized font on the front page.Written by Jove and Mars Roguesits below the title.

“What is this?” I ask, flipping to the first page. “‘Rules and expectations’?”

“It’s our contract,” he says. “It’s common in the trope. Mars thought it would be a good idea for us to have our own. He was pretty insistent on starting it off with the no falling in love rule. He was laughing a little maniacally as he did, saying how if we’re going to do the trope, we better do it right.” He shrugs. “Feel free to fall in love with me if you like, though. I’m tall, rich, and handsome. You could do much worse.” He scowls. “Like Brian Single.”

“Brian Single is a magnificent being of beauty and wonder,” I counter automatically, the veracity of Brian’s goodness pouring forth in the face of such horrific slander. “And this is…” Insane. “A lot.”

“Brian is an idiot,” Jove grunts. “And that’s only ten pages.”

Ten?“How long are we researching for?” I wheeze.

“I think that’s on page two,” he replies. “UnderExpectations.”

He comes beside me, shoulder bumping mine as I flip to page two, which does indeed hold the expectations for this agreement.

“Do we need all this?” I ask, skimming the page-long list. “Can’t we just… talk to each other?”

Jove’s shoulder lifts against mine, then falls back down. “Yes, but having it in writing is better for us both. We’ll knowexactlywhat to expect.” He bumps my shoulder again. “We can go over it during our date.”

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