Page 43 of Oh No, My Kidnapper Is Hot!

I shake his hand off and point my eyes squarely at the bump in his nose.

“I can’t eat the rest of this and still have room for cake,” I mutter. His nose twitches.

“I’m concerned about how little you eat,” he tells me. I huff.

“Not everyone can eat as much as you, Gigantor,” I snap, then reconsider my tone. Nicer, I ask, “Will you help me?”

His head shakes, and my heart drops. He’s not going to help. Archie is going to see that I didn’t eat all my food and ban me from dessert. My lip quivers.

“You’re ridiculous,” he murmurs. Then he sighs, an aggrieved sound. “This isn’t going to be easy,” he says. My heart lifts – soars. His head moves closer, pushing in so he can speak low in my ear.

“We’re going to have to be very sneaky if we want to pull this off,” he whispers. “In a minute, I’m going to sit back and talk to Archie and Sal again. I want you to turn the other direction and join Rosie and Heidi’s conversation. If you can’t find a way to jump in, at least look interested. Keep your eyes on them.Do notlook at me. I’ll handle the food. You got that?”

“I got it,” I whisper, heart pounding. I feel his exhale against my neck, and his temple brushes mine when he nods. One quick squeeze of his arm around my waist, and he lets me go. He wastes no time turning to Archie and Sal, and I quickly spin toward Heidi.

“–and then he thought she was going toacceptthatproposal? He’d just insulted her and her entire family! He would’ve had better luck if he had spit in her face! Wha–” She’s silenced by a slice of gruyere, which earns Baz a glower. He is unfazed.

“You’re entirely correct!” Rosie voices her agreement. “What sort of nitwit tells a girl he loves her against his better judgment in the middle of a proposal? Preposterous.” She stabs a boiled potato with more force than it could handle, and it crumbles apart on her fork. She frowns at it. I glance at my own plate in time to see Stryker casually scooping a small bunch of grapes and transferring them to his. He’s done a lot of work in the last half a minute. My food is already down to half of what was left. The road to cake is becoming clearer every moment.

I turn back to Rosie and Heidi and find that they’re moving on to talk of next week’s meals. I learn that Rosie makes most of the group’s breakfasts and lunches, often getting help from Sal. I perk up at the mention of more bento lunches, then deflate, remembering my plan to leave.

I’ll miss the cute lunches. I think I’ll even miss Rosie, who I’ve started to like quite a bit. She’s kooky but sweet.

I look around the table. Everyone here is off their rockers, to be sure, but there’s a certain charm to them. They’re a family. You can see it in the way they interact with each other. Sal reaches out to hold Archie’s shoulder as they talk. Baz feeds Heidi another bite. Rosie moves a tomato off of her plate and onto Sal’s. It’s comfortable in a way I’ve never seen people be with each other – not even when my parents were alive.

We had a household built on love, but it wasn’t like this. These people seem to read each other’s minds. They care for one another effortlessly, like it’s second nature. It’s a picture of an emotion that runs deeper than love. It speaks of trust. They’re open with each other – raw in theiremotions and interactions. It’s in their every movement. I’ve never trusted someone the way they trust each other, and a burning streak of envy tears through me at the realization.

I want this. I want it so badly. Ihatethat I didn’t find it with sane, upstanding citizens. I had hoped I’d be able to build this sort of community in college. You hear all these stories about making lifelong friends and treasured memories, but all I ended up with was debt and hunger.

I watch as Baz feeds Heidi another bite. She smiles at him, and my throat burns.

I have to get out of here. I’ll leave, and I’ll find my people somewhere far from this place, where kidnappings and murders aren’t a part of everyday life. Somewhere without hot, towering, bossy men. Somewhere where I can find love and acceptance –trust– with people worthy of mine in return.

As I look at my now empty plate and listen to Archie declare cake time, I swallow the burn down. I’ll be gone soon, and I’ll find a better version of what I’ve seen tonight. I promise myself it won’t be long as I bite into a huge, perfect slice of chocolate goodness.

I’ll leave, and I’ll chase my dream. Comfort. Love. Trust. They’ll be mine in no time.

Chapter Fifteen

I’ve been at this Compound of Crazies for two months now.

There have been six more family dinners, including a particularly memorable Thanksgiving feast held by Archie. He started the day in full pilgrim garb and ended it dressed as a chicken. He had no interest in an education on the traditional turkey symbolism, insisting that chickens were far more majestic animals and that he “wouldn’t be caught dead disrespecting them with inferior turkey fancy dress”.

“You don’t even own any chickens!”

“You believe they should be enslaved in such a manner?” he retorted. “Trapped forever in this place, never to live life to the fullest? No school? No work? Wandering aimlessly while they feel the call of something greater deep within their hollow bones? You would condemn them to such a life as that? I won’t have it. Stryker! Take your little monster away from me! She spits such terrible words!”

He didn’t speak to me after that. He did, however, toilet paper the cabin four times and steal the front door twice. In retaliation, Heidi helped me silly string his porch and put blue food dye in his shampoo. I had more plans, but Stryker cut them off in typical Stryker fashion.

“If you don’t stop fu– messing with him, I’m going to put you back in cuffs until you learn how to behave.”

“He started it!”

“This is the only warnin’ you’re going to get, darlin’. Don’t push it.”

What a buzzkill.

Heidi and I sulked for a week after that threat until Baz pointed out that Stryker had only threatened me, not Heidi.

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