Page 40 of Bound and Branded

But I wonder if there’s ever been any room in her life to want something else.

She was ashamed of her sexual desires, I know that much. I’m the only person that knows. She hasn’t even told her friends.

Had to sign up for an app, because there was no one she could talk to about her fantasies, and her desires.

I went through my whole adolescence daring people to reject me. Because I had already lost the only person I cared about.

But Avery’s scared of rejection. She’s trying to be whatever people need her to be. Whatever they want her to be.

I frown, that thought weighing heavily on my mind as I hear soft footsteps padding down the stairs. I smile, then get a second mug out of the cabinet, pour a cup of coffee, and by the time she gets in there, it’s waiting for her.

“Good morning,” she mumbles.

“Good morning, Dove,” I say.

A shy smile lights up her face. “Wolf.”

She crosses the space to me and stops in front of me. She’s waiting for me to make the first move. I reach out and cup her chin. And kiss her. Not deep and hard like I did yesterday,perfunctory, almost, but I feel her melt beneath my lips and I feel roaring satisfaction in my chest.

“Sweet girl,” I say, dragging my thumb over her lip.

She’s practically glowing at the compliment. I want more of that. I crave it. In spite of everything.

I take her to the barn and she immediately puts herself to work. I put a stop to that shit right away.

“Absolutely not,” I say. “I’m taking care of everything.”

“I know how to tack up a horse.”

“I know. But you’re not doing anything.”

“You’re such a liar. You said that you don’t like a sub outside of the bedroom.”

“Maybe I’m trying something new.”

Dangerous. Fucking dangerous.

She looks pleased by that, though, and I like for her to be pleased.

We get the horses ready and mount up outside the barn. Then I urge my horse forward, and she follows behind me. It’s a nice day. The kind of day that reminds me why I moved back here, for reasons beyond revenge, to show the town that I made something of myself. It’s funny, because initially, I bought the place with some measure of spite. But that fire inside of me has dimmed.

“You know, I always figured that I would be a rancher,” I say. “I figured that I would have a place like this, though of course I had no idea how much any of it cost. Had no idea that the odds were this would always be beyond me. It seemed like a simple life. My own plot of land, horses. I never imagined getting into real estate. I had no idea what that was.”

“I always assumed I would take over the ranch,” she says.

“Did you?”

She laughs. “I mean, when I was really young I thought about moving away. Living somewhere else. Trying different things. Ihad some ideas about working in an office building. But I didn’t know what I would do. And then after my mom left, and things got harder and harder for my dad, it became really clear to me that he needed my help.”

“You really don’t know what you wanted to do?”

Her face takes on a strange, bashful quality, and I can’t help but thinking that she does know what she wanted. She’s just embarrassed to say. Like it might change my opinion of her, and she can’t handle that.

“You can tell me,” I say.

“No. It’s stupid. I wanted to join the pro-rodeo circuit. I wanted to barrel race. I loved doing that for fun in the arena. I had fantasies of winning prize money and traveling, going away to school. Maybe studying business so I could get better at running the ranch, or maybe changing the business. I’d rather have horses than cattle.”

Suddenly, I want to make her dreams come true more than I want anything. Hell, I’ll buy the fucking rodeo for her if that’s what she wants.

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