Page 62 of The Silencer

He takes a step closer, his dark eyes never leaving mine."I couldn't...I couldn't let your birthday pass without seeing you."

I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly feeling vulnerable."You had no problem staying away these past eight months."

Emmanuel winces at my words."I know.I'm sorry.I thought...I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go."

"The right thing?"I scoff, anger rising in my chest."You broke my heart that night, Emmanuel.Even when we talked after, you never really came back to me.Not fully.That was the moment I lost you.”

He runs a hand through his hair."I wanted you to have a normal life, Clodagh.A life without danger, without looking over your shoulder.I thought if I stayed away, you could have that."

I shake my head, tears threatening to spill."That wasn't your decision to make, Emmanuel.You don't get to decide what's best for me."

He takes another step closer, close enough now that I can see the pain in his eyes."I know that now.I've regretted walking away every single day."

My heart pounds in my chest.God, I still want him."So why are you here now?What's changed?"

Emmanuel reaches out, his hand hovering near my face before he drops it back to his side."I couldn't stay away anymore.I tried.God knows I tried.But I...I miss you, Clodagh.More than I thought possible."

I swallow hard, trying to ignore the way my body reacts to his close proximity."You can't just show up after eight months and expect everything to be okay."

"I don't," he says quickly."I know I hurt you.I know I don't deserve your forgiveness.But I had to see you, to tell you how sorry I am.And wish you a happy birthday."

I study his face, noting the dark circles under his eyes and the tension in his jaw.He looks like he hasn't slept well in months.

"I'm angry with you," I finally say, my voice low."You left me when I needed you."Finding out that the man who haunted my dreams, the one who murdered my family, was dead and I was safe, finally, was both freeing and terrifying all at once.I needed Emmanuel.He was the man I could count on.He was the one I knew would keep me safe.

Emmanuel nods, accepting my words."I know.And you have every right to be angry."

I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I'm about to say."But...I missed you too.Even when I didn't want to, I missed you."

His eyes light up with hope, and he takes another step closer.We're barely inches apart now."Clodagh, I?—"

I pull in a deep breath.God, he’s so beautiful.

His lips slam against mine, and I freeze, remembering the last time we kissed and how much it hurt for him to walk away, but that fades and my body reacts instinctively, melting into his embrace as our lips move together.The kiss is desperate, passionate, filled with eight months of longing and unspoken words.His fingers tangle in my hair and one of his arms wraps tightly around my waist, pulling me closer.

I moan deep in my throat, loving the way his hand twines into my hair.The kiss goes on and on and I don’t want it to ever stop.But he pulls back, resting his forehead against mine.

“Come home with me,” he says thickly.

I laugh.“To Dublin?”I ask incredulously.“Emmanuel?—”

He shakes his head.“Baby,” he says thickly, “you’re here.That means I was always going to come.I won’t be here all the time as I’m needed in Dublin, but I’ll be here whenever I can be.”

I blink.“What are you saying?”I whisper.

“I bought an apartment.I fucked up walking away from you, Clodagh, while you were too fucking young for me.I should have let you know just what I was wanting.”

I swallow hard.What the hell is going on?“What do you want?”

His hands frame my face.“You,” he says simply.“It’s always been you.”

I stand there, stunned by Emmanuel's words.My heart races as I try to process what he's saying.

"Me?"I whisper, hardly daring to believe it."But...you left.You walked away."

Emmanuel's hands move from my face to my shoulders, his touch gentle but firm."I know.And it was the biggest mistake of my life.I thought I was protecting you, giving you a chance at a normal life.But I realized I was just running away from my own feelings."

I shake my head, overwhelmed."Emmanuel, I...I don't know what to say.This is all so sudden."

---