Page 21 of The Silencer

He shakes his head.“That’s not what I mean.Have you seen Clodagh?”

“No,” I say through clenched teeth.I’ve kept my distance from her.“Jer’s stopped giving me updates.”

“Why?”he questions.“Why did he stop with the updates?I thought he was keeping an eye on her?”

I sigh, staring out the window at the passing streetlights."I asked him to stop.It was...it was becoming an obsession.I couldn't keep living with that guilt, checking up on her constantly."

Maverick nods slowly."I get it.But maybe it's time you faced it head on.Go see her, talk to her."

I shake my head vehemently."No.Absolutely not.What would I even say?'Hey, sorry my psycho dad murdered your family and kidnapped you.Hope you're doing okay now!'"

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Maverick says, his voice gentle but firm."You need closure, Emmanuel.And maybe she does too."

I don't respond, letting his words hang in the air between us.Part of me knows he's right.The guilt, the what-ifs, they've been eating away at me for years now.But the thought of actually facing Clodagh...it terrifies me.

"Look," Maverick continues, "I'm not saying you have to do it right away.But think about it, yeah?It might help you move past this."

I nod noncommittally, not wanting to discuss it further.We drive the rest of the way to our safe house in silence.

Once we're inside, I check my phone.There's a message from Cole:Job well done.Fly back tomorrow for debrief.

I show the message to Maverick, who nods."Guess we're heading home then."

As I lay in bed that night, sleep eludes me.My mind keeps replaying the moment I took the shot, the look of horror on the daughter's face.And then it shifts, morphing into Clodagh's face, her eyes wide with fear and confusion.

Maybe Maverick's right.Maybe it is time to face my demons.But am I ready for that?And more importantly, is Clodagh?

I toss and turn, these thoughts swirling in my head until exhaustion finally claims me.As I drift off, I make a decision.When we get back to Ireland, I'll talk to Jer.It's time to find out how Clodagh O'Rourke is really doing.

Because until I do, I'll never truly be free of my father's legacy.And I need to be if I'm going to continue down this path I've chosen.The path of the Silencer.

* * *

“What’s on your mind, son?”Jer asks as I take a seat opposite him in his office.

It’s been a week since the mission in Los Angeles and Delgado’s death.His daughter is free of him and is currently living with her aunt and seems happier.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself."I want to know how Clodagh O'Rourke is doing."

Jer leans back in his chair, studying me intently."I thought you wanted me to stop giving you updates on her."

"I did," I admit."But I think...I think I need to know.For closure."

Jer nods slowly, as if he's been expecting this."She's doing well, all things considered.Still living with Tammy, her foster mam.She's in therapy and making progress.She made a friend who’s also in foster care.She’s a thirteen year old teenager, Emmanuel; she’s doing the best that she can."

"That's...that's good."

"It is," Jer agrees."But, Emmanuel, why now?What's changed?"

I run a hand through my hair, trying to find the right words."The job in LA.There was a girl there, Delgado's daughter.She reminded me of Clodagh.It made me realize I've never really dealt with what happened."

Jer's expression softens."You can't keep carrying this guilt, son.What your father did wasn't your fault."

"I know that," I say, frustration creeping into my voice."Logically, I know that.But I can't help feeling like if I'd done something sooner..."

"You were a child yourself," Jer reminds me gently."There was nothing you could have done."

I nod, not entirely convinced."I think...I think I need to see her.Talk to her."

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