Page 65 of The Silencer

I glance over at Emmanuel.He’s currently on his phone too, but standing out on the balcony as he speaks to whomever is on the other line.It’s been two days since my birthday party, and we’re still holed up in his apartment.

“I’m okay,” I assure her.“Why do you ask?”She has no idea about Emmanuel, and I plan on keeping it that way for a while.I just want to see what happens between us before I put a label on it.Not to mention, Lisa will probably be pissed.After the kiss, I vowed to get over him, and I tried.I really did.

"I don't know.You just sound...different," Lisa says, her voice laced with concern."And you haven't been answering your phone much these past couple days.I was starting to worry.Since your birthday, you've been distant.Are you sure you're okay?"

I bite my lip, feeling a pang of guilt."I'm sorry.I've just been...busy.You know, catching up on schoolwork after the party and all.I promise, I'm fine."

There's a pause on the other end of the line."Clodagh," Lisa says slowly, "you know you can tell me anything, right?If something's going on..."

I close my eyes, hating that I'm keeping things from my best friend.But I'm not ready to share this yet, not when I'm still figuring it out myself.

"I know, Lisa," I say softly."And I appreciate that.I promise everything's fine.I'm just...adjusting to college life, you know?"

Lisa sighs again."Okay, if you say so.But remember, I'm here if you need me."

"I know," I say, smiling despite myself."Thanks, Lisa.I'll call you soon, okay?"

After we hang up, I look back out at Emmanuel.He's just finished his call and is making his way back inside, a serious expression on his face.

"Everything okay?"I ask as he slides the balcony door shut behind him.

Emmanuel runs a hand through his hair, something he does a lot when he’s frustrated."Just some business back in Dublin," he says vaguely."Nothing for you to worry about."

I nod.I know he works for Jerry Houlihan, and I know better than to ask about the stuff that goes on within the Houlihan Gang.I’ve lived through enough violence; I don’t need to know the ins and outs of what he does.

“Just be safe, yeah?”I say softly.It’s hard to believe how much I care for him.Our lives have been entwined for so many years, I feel as though it was fate we ended up here.The question is, will it last?

Emmanuel's expression softens as he approaches me, wrapping his arms around my waist."Always," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my forehead."How about you?Everything okay with Lisa?"

I nod, leaning into his embrace."Yeah, she's just worried about me.I haven't been very responsive these past couple of days."

Emmanuel pulls back slightly, his brow furrowed."Do you want to tell her about us?"

I bite my lip, considering."I don't know.Part of me wants to, but...I'm afraid of how she'll react.And I kind of like having this just between us for now."

He nods, understanding in his eyes."Whatever you decide, I'll support you.Just know that I'm not going anywhere, Clodagh.This isn't just a fling for me."

His words make my heart skip a beat."It's not for me either," I admit softly.

Emmanuel smiles that rare, genuine smile that makes my knees weak.He leans in, capturing my lips in a tender kiss that quickly deepens.As I lose myself in the kiss, I can't help but think about how much has changed in just a few days.

When we finally break apart, both slightly breathless, Emmanuel rests his forehead against mine."I have to head back to Dublin tomorrow," he says reluctantly.

My heart sinks a little at his words.I knew it was coming; I just didn’t know when.He’s only just got here and now he has to go again."For how long?"

"A few days, maybe a week," he replies, his thumb gently stroking my cheek."I'll come back as soon as I can."

I nod, trying to hide my disappointment."I understand.You have responsibilities there."

Emmanuel tilts my chin up, making me meet his gaze."Hey, this doesn't change anything between us.I meant what I said about wanting to be part of your life."

"I know," I say, offering him a small smile."It's just...I'll miss you."

His eyes soften."I'll miss you too, baby.But we'll talk every day, and I'll be back before you know it."

As I look into his eyes, I see the sincerity there.Despite how uncertain I feel about us, I find myself believing him.Trusting him.I’ve always felt safe with Emmanuel and I still do.

"Okay," I whisper, pressing closer to him."But let's make the most of tonight, yeah?"

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