Page 77 of An Island in the Sun

There was no point in attempting to say anything else; Cordelia was headstrong and determined, much like her son.

The door opened a crack and Julie’s usually passive face appeared furrowed with worry.

‘We need to talk.’ Cordelia was firm and unwavering as she glared at poor Julie.

Julie stood back and opened the door.

Cordelia stormed in.

Tabitha looked at Julie apologetically. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘This was bound to happen sometime,’ Julie said under her breath as she closed the door behind her.

‘How dare you meddle in my family’s business; how dare you not tell me that Raff was back!’ Cordelia exploded the second Julie and Tabitha joined her in the open-plan living area. She was rooted to the spot, standing rigidly with her hands on her hips, her expression as furious as her tone. If Anton was home, he was making himself scarce.

It was as if all of Cordelia’s pent-up anger and upset needed to go somewhere and as it couldn’t be directed at Raff, Julie was the next best thing.

Tabitha suddenly felt like the outsider she was, looking in on the situation. The ‘nosy’ neighbours thing ran deeper than that – there was real resentment on Cordelia’s part, with Julie having a far closer relationship with Raff than she’d ever had. Without intending to, Tabitha had managed to give Cordelia the perfect excuse to confront her.

Words flew between the two women about the last couple of weeks and what Julie did or didn’t know. Cordelia dominated in both her tone and presence, making Julie seem more vulnerable than ever.

‘You’ve always interfered with Raff,’ Cordelia said coldly. ‘You’ve always stuck your nose where it doesn’t belong!’

‘No,’ Julie said calmly. ‘I’ve been there for Raff; that’s called caring, not interfering.’

‘You have no idea how hard it is to be a parent.’ Cordelia’s voice cracked. ‘No idea at all.’

Julie looked on the verge of tears. Tabitha’s heart went out to her, knowing that having a child would have meant the world to her, while Cordelia was throwing all the love and care she’d given Raff over the years right back in her face.

‘Maybe I don’t, but that’s only because I couldn’t have children of my own,’ Julie said quietly, her voice wobbling as tears ran freely down her cheeks. ‘My love had nowhere to go, besides our beloved Jasper and your Raff.YourRaff,’ she repeated. ‘I understand that. I tried to be a friend to him. The last thing I wanted was to steal him away from you; that was never my intention. What I saw was a young man who was struggling emotionally and I decided to be there for him. Don’t forget, it was you who asked me to babysit him in the first place. And when you were away, I was here. Raff chose to come over to have dinner and spend time with us. It was a pleasure getting to know him.’

Tabitha had no idea how Julie remained so calm, but she did. But then she was a very different person to Cordelia. Life had a habit of not being fair – Julie had been childless despite being desperate to be a mother, while everything about Cordelia suggested that motherhood hadn’t ever been her priority.

‘I didn’t know how to love him,’ Tabitha heard Cordelia say to Julie as she quietly backed away. ‘I’m from a family of high achievers. I went to Cambridge – it was expected of me and I didn’t defy my parents. Rightly or wrongly, I expected the same of Raff.’

Tabitha wasn’t a part of this; the conversation was between the two women. She may have unwittingly instigated it, but she needed to give them the space to talk. She slipped out of the patio door and closed it behind her, relieved to escape into the night, the large garden shadowed and invitingly peaceful after the tension inside. She took the time to reflect, not just on the last couple of weeks, but the past few months that had led her to this moment. Would she change anything if she could do it all again?

Fifteen minutes later, the patio door clicked open and footsteps tapped across the paving. Cordelia stood next to Tabitha, smudged eyeliner accentuating the puffiness from crying. Tabitha glanced back and caught sight of Julie in the doorway. Despite looking wrung out, Julie gave her a weak smile and nodded, before slipping inside.

Cordelia stared ahead across the dark garden. Tabitha did the same. The night was only broken by the moon glimmering silver on the velvet black ocean and the specks of lights from the other houses clinging to the hillside mirrored the stars.

‘You like Raff?’ Cordelia’s voice cracked as it filled the stillness.

‘Yes, I do.’

Tabitha looked at Cordelia, whose eyes were brimming with tears, a tissue clutched in her hand, shoulders tense as she stared out.

‘I’m sorry he didn’t stay,’ Tabitha said quietly. ‘I asked him to.’

Cordelia nodded and scrunched the tissue tighter. ‘Julie explained a lot of things. Things I had no idea about.’ She sniffed and dabbed her eyes. ‘And I’m sorry our actions forced you into this situation to begin with. Please come back and stay tonight. Let’s not leave things this way.’

‘Julie’s been nothing but kind to me, to Raff…’ Tabitha motioned towards the house. ‘She only wants what’s best for him. I think she’d be happy if you managed to repair your relationship. It would benefit everyone.’

Cordelia nodded. ‘I think I have an apology to make before we go home.’ She breathed deeply and turned to her. ‘I hope you’ll come back?’

She didn’t wait for an answer. With determination, Cordelia headed into the house. Tabitha could just make out Julie’s gentle voice asking if everything was all right.

Tabitha took one last look at the ocean, cool and dark, glittering in the moonlight. The endless space begged the question: where would she go next? Where was she drawn to? Back to the comfort and familiarity of her family, or perhaps she should head across the ocean on an adventure? As Cordelia’s and Julie’s voices drifted into the night, she realised she hadn’t yet replied to Ollie. But, for now, with the island bathed in darkness and feeling drained after a day filled with emotion, she only had the energy to make one decision. She turned towards the warm light spilling from the house and took a deep breath in readiness of joining Julie and Cordelia. What was one more night?

---