Page 71 of An Island in the Sun

‘There never will be a good time, you know.’

‘Then maybe that’s the way it should stay. I’ve got on just fine not having anything to do with my parents.’

‘Then why are you here now, in their house, if you want nothing to do with them?’

His jaw clenched. ‘You know why I’m here. Circumstances. And I was going to leave before they got back. I can’t see them. I don’t want to see them.’

From all she’d learned about Raff’s relationship with his parents, his reaction was understandable, but it would be her facing them. ‘I get why you’re upset, Raff, but if my time here is anything to go by, sometimes it’s good to talk. Perhaps you might even be able to make peace with them.’

Raff tucked his hands beneath his armpits, his chest muscles tensing as he did. Tabitha wished she could rewind the morning and instead be naked beneath the sheets with Raff, enjoying each other and forgetting about everyone and everything else.

‘Honestly, however hard you try, however well-meaning you are, you really don’t understand my relationship with my parents.’ There was a hardness to his voice. ‘I’ve come to terms with being a disappointment to them, but what really hurts is the knowledge that they wished they’d never had me.’

‘They don’t think like that.’

‘Oh, you know them, do you? The brief evening you spent with them trumps my thirty-one years, does it?’

‘No, it’s just they’re your parents—’

‘So? I’m way past caring what they think of me and that they didn’t believe me when it mattered most. I know I’ve caused them trouble and disappointed them. I’m sure their life would have been easier without me, and if you don’t think they’ve wished that over the years, then you haven’t been paying attention to anything I’ve said.’

Tabitha held up her hands. ‘You’ve taken it the wrong way. I was only trying to make awell-meaningsuggestion. You didn’t have to bite my head off.’

His demeanour and sudden change of tone had upset her more than she thought possible.

‘I can’t be here when they get back.’ Raff shrugged. ‘I’ll go to Funchal and get a flight to London. Figure something out then. Another week and the money for the house will come through.’

‘No.’ Tabitha shook her head. ‘You don’t get to walk away.’ She wasn’t prepared for her time on Madeira to come to an end so abruptly and she sure as hell wasn’t ready for Raff to walk out of her life. The pain in her chest had returned, making it feel as if her breathing was restricted. ‘Do you honestly want to carry on hating your parents while they ignore the fact that they even have a son?’

‘Tabitha, it’s not that straightforward.’

‘Yeah, I get it, it’s a messed-up situation, but something keeps on bringing you back here. I don’t believe for a second that you would rather carry on the way you have been. I don’t imagine it will be easy attempting to regain a semblance of a relationship with them, but surely it’s worth a try? What better time than now?’

‘Oh, I think any time would be better than now,’ he said bitterly.

‘You’re only saying that because you don’t want to talk to them.’

‘Of course I don’t want to talk to them!’

‘You’ll have me for support.’

‘And how’s that going to go down? You’ve been lying to them while they’ve been away, letting me stay—’

‘Because you asked me to!’ Fury rushed through her.

‘But still…’ Raff unclenched his hands from his armpits and held them up in a ‘what can I say’ kind of way. ‘Do you fancy explaining our situation to them? Explaining everything that’s happened over the last couple of weeks and what we’ve got up to in their house?’

Tabitha folded her arms, her nostrils flaring.

‘I thought not.’ He started for the stairs, but stopped. His hand rested on the banister as he bowed his head and shook it. He turned and came back over, taking her in his arms. The smell of him was intoxicating, the feel of him making her skin tingle, his bare chest pressed against her sending her heart racing. ‘I’m sorry, Tabs. What I said was uncalled for, but I really can’t do this.’

Raff kissed her and retreated upstairs.

Tabitha remained in the living room. She breathed deeply, trying to calm her thumping heart as she fought back tears. Utter despair washed over her, still more uncertainty, her feelings for Raff a muddle; she wanted to escape yet hold on to him for dear life too. Instead, she let the dogs out and retreated to her bedroom.His parents’ room. Despite his obvious anger and reluctance to stay, what hurt the most was his tender use of the pet name that only her family used, coupled with the feeling he evoked when he touched her, when he said sorry, when he held her. Yet, with a sinking heart, she knew that nothing she said was going to change his mind. The gloriousness of the weekend, where they’d been in a loved-up bubble, had burst.

Tabitha showered and dressed in her boy-fit jeans and a vest top, at least attempting to look like she was ready to face the day.

Whether Raff was a coward for not wanting to face up to his parents or right for not letting himself be swayed into forgiving them, it was his decision and she and Raff were nothing more to each other than strangers who had spent a couple of nights together and were now heading their separate ways. They always were going to have to say goodbye; it was just happening sooner than she’d expected, her time on Madeira screeching to a halt with the return of his parents.

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